and reading.
sewed 2 cross-stitch things, one of a couple of daffodills and one that i drew out, so that was a bit crap, but all fodder for my inspiratiwall in my lav :o) once it is decorated, which (if anything is left to paul) will be a while until it is decorated.
i have the most manic week ahead, need to clean and shop and take kids swimming and do lemon chicken for dinner at tonis for 11 people tomorrow from here, preparing dinner for 11 people is hard enough without having to transport it precooking stage and going swimming an hour before it needs to be eaten!!
then tuesday got my tat at 1pm, 4-5 hours of pain, i have laid in stores of nice painkillers though. sitting on my arse for that long is painful, so need to protect my poor broken tail!
wednesday is time out together and meditation and possibly my lifecoach lady, she is training and i offered to be her victim :o) should be interesting!! and probably painful after being tattooed all over me back the day before!!
thursday i have stephen over the day to list stuff on ebay, we have van load of puter bits to get shot of and havent a clue what most of them are ..... luckily for me stephen the human sex god will have :o) all hail stephen the sex god!
friday i have lunch planned with a lovely friend at the local thai place that i have discount at and this one isnt for sexual favours, so all the better ;o) then have ann summers party in the evening.
sat'day i have to time out together outting to compton acres.
busy busy busy and it's nearly 1am and i have to be up and sober in 6 hours!!
damn this pimms and all her lovelyness!!
Monday 13 October 2008
Saturday 4 October 2008
weird
blogger wouldnt let me sign in and then when i went to try again, i was signed in *scatches head* i won't let it bother me any more!! lol
had my 2nd lot of regression on monday, which was very interesting. i remember a drowning and when she took me back further, being an orphan, being impressed from a pub in london (didnt happen how they reckon on it happening, was very drunk, too drunky to fight, taken onboard ship, locked up until we left port) and fighting on board ship in the north sea where i won the fight but was bound and dumped overboard for my troubles, where i drowned. had some healing after that and feeling very calm and centred since :o) that was monday, wednesday we did meditation and did a mind clearing meditation with a dalai lama chant, which was wonderful, i could feel my third eye fighting to be open. also was gifted with uriel and azriel, the cutest gerbils!!!
they are now living in the front room with the fish, getting a more secure lid so that i dont have to banish the cats from there. they are so sweet. i cleaned the tank out thursday, thought it would give them a chance to be handled a little and if it is all nice and clean in there, they know they have a new home. man, are they whizzy!!! took a while to catch them and even longer to pop them home again! the boys have been spending time, just putting their hands in the tank so they get used to us. they are brave enough to run over our hands and pull at the fingers they find in their house, much to the delight of the kids!!
time out together thing has sorted the first outting, going to compton acres for the half day, i phoned them and got the student rate of £3.50 pp and under 5's free. so thats cool :o) couple more families are on board too. so we have our numbers and our first place and intec is being explored as the full day out we are doing in november. we have to do some paper work with it too, to show other families daytrips out for a reasonable amount.
been swimming 5x this week, and even joined the pool and have almost made the joining fee and first month back :o) swam 600m yesterday and still recovering!! lol havent lost any weight yet tho *insert grumble here*
am planning some decorating before my halloween party so that all i need to do is touch up at crimbly when i do the deep predecorations clean in december. i bought some furniture from ebay, i was actually bidding on a table, but didnt win it, but got a corner cabinet and sideboard, and planning on moving stuff around in here to make it much more cluttered!! rofl paul is gonna hate it, but me cares not :o)
oooooooo i'm also going to be a case study for a lady i met at meditation who is doing a life coach course. tis all free, best price, and hoping to get things sorted once and for all!! i can hope can't i???
i've deciced i'm going out for lunch today, so better get dressed now! or maybe do some searching for things for my inspiratiwall.
had my 2nd lot of regression on monday, which was very interesting. i remember a drowning and when she took me back further, being an orphan, being impressed from a pub in london (didnt happen how they reckon on it happening, was very drunk, too drunky to fight, taken onboard ship, locked up until we left port) and fighting on board ship in the north sea where i won the fight but was bound and dumped overboard for my troubles, where i drowned. had some healing after that and feeling very calm and centred since :o) that was monday, wednesday we did meditation and did a mind clearing meditation with a dalai lama chant, which was wonderful, i could feel my third eye fighting to be open. also was gifted with uriel and azriel, the cutest gerbils!!!
they are now living in the front room with the fish, getting a more secure lid so that i dont have to banish the cats from there. they are so sweet. i cleaned the tank out thursday, thought it would give them a chance to be handled a little and if it is all nice and clean in there, they know they have a new home. man, are they whizzy!!! took a while to catch them and even longer to pop them home again! the boys have been spending time, just putting their hands in the tank so they get used to us. they are brave enough to run over our hands and pull at the fingers they find in their house, much to the delight of the kids!!
time out together thing has sorted the first outting, going to compton acres for the half day, i phoned them and got the student rate of £3.50 pp and under 5's free. so thats cool :o) couple more families are on board too. so we have our numbers and our first place and intec is being explored as the full day out we are doing in november. we have to do some paper work with it too, to show other families daytrips out for a reasonable amount.
been swimming 5x this week, and even joined the pool and have almost made the joining fee and first month back :o) swam 600m yesterday and still recovering!! lol havent lost any weight yet tho *insert grumble here*
am planning some decorating before my halloween party so that all i need to do is touch up at crimbly when i do the deep predecorations clean in december. i bought some furniture from ebay, i was actually bidding on a table, but didnt win it, but got a corner cabinet and sideboard, and planning on moving stuff around in here to make it much more cluttered!! rofl paul is gonna hate it, but me cares not :o)
oooooooo i'm also going to be a case study for a lady i met at meditation who is doing a life coach course. tis all free, best price, and hoping to get things sorted once and for all!! i can hope can't i???
i've deciced i'm going out for lunch today, so better get dressed now! or maybe do some searching for things for my inspiratiwall.
Thursday 25 September 2008
been a while
since i blogged, but been too busy or too pissed off with not having my own puter!!
busy is as busy does tho, takes time up so dont get much time to think really :o) always a good thing. kids back to school and, as usual, loving the stimulation that home education lacks when you are not learning in a structured system. river has settled well into his new school and now we are just ironning out a few teething problems with the bullies, but you get that everywhere i've found.
i've been roped into a locally run project, time out together, that our local college got funding from the lottery for. we met on a wednesday morning and drink tea/coffee and chat for the most part. it is held at the school, so just pop in when we have dropped off. there is a play worker that occupies the one we bring along, and she does it from the corner of the room. the ladies are all really fun and we are looking at doing 2 outings, one half day and one full day. the experience that i had with the home ed group has been fairly helpful. most of us have younger children that either havent got somewhere to go or we want to bring them, so we are pitching for something that will be interesting for them. it is aimed at getting disadvanged kids to spend more time with their families, but it isnt really working like that. i guess coz most of these people would rather watch the telly and send the kids out to play in the street :o/ next week we get to bring in our school age children, taking them out of their classes to meet each other and do some puter work with us in the IT suite. should be fun :o)
chase has managed to get work of the week 2nd week back!! i wasnt given an invitation to school to see her (as they normally do) so i had a word with the teacher who was mortified! and rightly so! chase has had it 6 times now i think!! that child just wants me up at the school more i'm sure of it!! she is the one roping me into the bloody time out together thing! even tho we go out together a lot!!
t'was our 11th wedding anniversary on monday and we had an evening out at a local thai restraurant which was very nice, as was the 2 bottles of wine we consumed and the rhubarb schnapps when we returned! we drank almost all of it, it was soooo soooo divine!! the down side was tuesday morning, when we were both feeling too rough to take the kids to school, in fact i would say i was still over the limit for driving!! so i didnt and the kids were hour and half late!! whoops! was worth it tho! and i have managed to get my hands on more rhubarb for more crimbly schnapps!!
had some past life regression a couple of weeks ago, was very good, and having another session on monday. she is hoping to take me back further, which should be interesting. i must get my last one written up. it was very interesting and explained a lot about why i am like i am :o) it is the lovely lady from the meditation group i go to with my friend fabienne. she also gave me a gift of a painting of my spirit guide and psycic reading, which i must sort out!! been so busy that i havent gotten around to it just yet!
got tat booked for 14th oct, so trying to get in as much time as i can at the pool! just whilst beau is at nursery. my hair is gonna get sooo dry! but hey, if my arse gets smaller, gotta be worth it ;o) i can condition it when i'm waiting for my back to heal ;o)
busy is as busy does tho, takes time up so dont get much time to think really :o) always a good thing. kids back to school and, as usual, loving the stimulation that home education lacks when you are not learning in a structured system. river has settled well into his new school and now we are just ironning out a few teething problems with the bullies, but you get that everywhere i've found.
i've been roped into a locally run project, time out together, that our local college got funding from the lottery for. we met on a wednesday morning and drink tea/coffee and chat for the most part. it is held at the school, so just pop in when we have dropped off. there is a play worker that occupies the one we bring along, and she does it from the corner of the room. the ladies are all really fun and we are looking at doing 2 outings, one half day and one full day. the experience that i had with the home ed group has been fairly helpful. most of us have younger children that either havent got somewhere to go or we want to bring them, so we are pitching for something that will be interesting for them. it is aimed at getting disadvanged kids to spend more time with their families, but it isnt really working like that. i guess coz most of these people would rather watch the telly and send the kids out to play in the street :o/ next week we get to bring in our school age children, taking them out of their classes to meet each other and do some puter work with us in the IT suite. should be fun :o)
chase has managed to get work of the week 2nd week back!! i wasnt given an invitation to school to see her (as they normally do) so i had a word with the teacher who was mortified! and rightly so! chase has had it 6 times now i think!! that child just wants me up at the school more i'm sure of it!! she is the one roping me into the bloody time out together thing! even tho we go out together a lot!!
t'was our 11th wedding anniversary on monday and we had an evening out at a local thai restraurant which was very nice, as was the 2 bottles of wine we consumed and the rhubarb schnapps when we returned! we drank almost all of it, it was soooo soooo divine!! the down side was tuesday morning, when we were both feeling too rough to take the kids to school, in fact i would say i was still over the limit for driving!! so i didnt and the kids were hour and half late!! whoops! was worth it tho! and i have managed to get my hands on more rhubarb for more crimbly schnapps!!
had some past life regression a couple of weeks ago, was very good, and having another session on monday. she is hoping to take me back further, which should be interesting. i must get my last one written up. it was very interesting and explained a lot about why i am like i am :o) it is the lovely lady from the meditation group i go to with my friend fabienne. she also gave me a gift of a painting of my spirit guide and psycic reading, which i must sort out!! been so busy that i havent gotten around to it just yet!
got tat booked for 14th oct, so trying to get in as much time as i can at the pool! just whilst beau is at nursery. my hair is gonna get sooo dry! but hey, if my arse gets smaller, gotta be worth it ;o) i can condition it when i'm waiting for my back to heal ;o)
Monday 28 July 2008
Sunday 27 July 2008
clean
the house is finally cleaned, all at the same time, from top to bottom. that isnt to say that i wont clean it all again tomorrow, coz i will, bathrooms, hoovering, dusting, floors, fishtank, all again tomorrow. but that is good and it wont take much more than the morning.
have deligated jobs today, river has gone off to work with paul, girls are cleaning out pink people bus so it wont just sit and fester in the next 11 days! sparks and beau are watching tv (just for a change!) some crap on the disney channel, oh its the wizards of whilverly place or some such shite :o)
facebook has so much to answer for, someone i went to school with found me. not that i dont like or didnt like her, coz i did, just that i had hoped that i had left it all behind. was some of the worst years of my life (living in that hell hole didnt help either!) and i was glad to see the back of it all. seems she is just a normal person, with normal life. none of the bizarre shit that happens around me ;o)
my new tat is looking divine! i am soooo in love with it and cannot wait until i'm back from ireland to get more ink! need more tattoos i do! planning on finding a puter to upload all my pix too so shall due post one here.
i'm also really pissed off with amazon! i ordered the spiderwick cronicles books with the field guide and field notes books along with breaking dawn (new stephenie meyer book from the twilight series, i seriously cannot wait and is the only reason i wanna get back from ireland) and i put them down for as soon as they become available, but they went for supersaver, and grouping them in one package as breaking dawn isnt released until 6th aug! the bastards! so will have to make do with the host, the current new release from stephenie meyer. i bought it over week ago and started reading it at tattooist, but was too excited to concentrate and havent been motivated enough to read any since.
whilst surfing around amazon, i saw that sergie lukyanenko has a new book out as part (the last) of the night watch books. i started reading them on my last day in malaysia last year whilst waiting for yoong (got through most of it too!) and sitting in the lobby lounge of KL's best hotel, the shangri-la where we were staying. and apart from the most wonderful setting, it was a fab book, as were the next 2 books, day watch and twilight watch. not out until 6th nov. but i highly recommend the others! i love russian works and this is one of the best imo :o) i watched the film of night watch and it got all fecked up, between the books and artistic licence, i hate seeing films and saying "that was not how it was sposed to be!" or "that doesnt make sense because of XYZ" i guess i should see day watch too and watch it as a body of work, that might make more sense! have to see how much of my huge bag of stuff sells on ebay first, to finance all this spending i'm planning on amazon.
right, got more washing to do!
amor mundi
have deligated jobs today, river has gone off to work with paul, girls are cleaning out pink people bus so it wont just sit and fester in the next 11 days! sparks and beau are watching tv (just for a change!) some crap on the disney channel, oh its the wizards of whilverly place or some such shite :o)
facebook has so much to answer for, someone i went to school with found me. not that i dont like or didnt like her, coz i did, just that i had hoped that i had left it all behind. was some of the worst years of my life (living in that hell hole didnt help either!) and i was glad to see the back of it all. seems she is just a normal person, with normal life. none of the bizarre shit that happens around me ;o)
my new tat is looking divine! i am soooo in love with it and cannot wait until i'm back from ireland to get more ink! need more tattoos i do! planning on finding a puter to upload all my pix too so shall due post one here.
i'm also really pissed off with amazon! i ordered the spiderwick cronicles books with the field guide and field notes books along with breaking dawn (new stephenie meyer book from the twilight series, i seriously cannot wait and is the only reason i wanna get back from ireland) and i put them down for as soon as they become available, but they went for supersaver, and grouping them in one package as breaking dawn isnt released until 6th aug! the bastards! so will have to make do with the host, the current new release from stephenie meyer. i bought it over week ago and started reading it at tattooist, but was too excited to concentrate and havent been motivated enough to read any since.
whilst surfing around amazon, i saw that sergie lukyanenko has a new book out as part (the last) of the night watch books. i started reading them on my last day in malaysia last year whilst waiting for yoong (got through most of it too!) and sitting in the lobby lounge of KL's best hotel, the shangri-la where we were staying. and apart from the most wonderful setting, it was a fab book, as were the next 2 books, day watch and twilight watch. not out until 6th nov. but i highly recommend the others! i love russian works and this is one of the best imo :o) i watched the film of night watch and it got all fecked up, between the books and artistic licence, i hate seeing films and saying "that was not how it was sposed to be!" or "that doesnt make sense because of XYZ" i guess i should see day watch too and watch it as a body of work, that might make more sense! have to see how much of my huge bag of stuff sells on ebay first, to finance all this spending i'm planning on amazon.
right, got more washing to do!
amor mundi
Thursday 24 July 2008
ohohoh and!!
i made rhubarb schnappes yesterday before i went down to see auntie frances in weymouth!
1lb of rhubarb
6oz of caster sugar
top up a 1.15 litre pickling jar with vodka
leave in cupboard for at least 6 weeks :o)
i'm planning on saving it until my wedding anniversary in 8 1/2 weeks as a treat for paulee. see, i'm not a bad wife ;o) until we open it and it tastes absolutly repulsive! lmao so i'll feed him curry and sweet love too ;o)
1lb of rhubarb
6oz of caster sugar
top up a 1.15 litre pickling jar with vodka
leave in cupboard for at least 6 weeks :o)
i'm planning on saving it until my wedding anniversary in 8 1/2 weeks as a treat for paulee. see, i'm not a bad wife ;o) until we open it and it tastes absolutly repulsive! lmao so i'll feed him curry and sweet love too ;o)
inked!!!
just got inked!! yay!! and have major plans for future, me and my tattooist :o)
i now have a peacock feather on the back of my left arm, reaching from 5 or 6 cms above my elbow and the eye resting on the back of my shoulder and me mucho impressedo. only smarted a bit on the shoulder with the outline. i had thought about having it on the inside of my forearm, but i found several reasons not to have that done YET! no 1, i'm orf to ireland and my elderly family know i've got tats and stuff, but not really appriciative of the art or mutilation, no 2 i know i will catch it on stuff and i'm cleaning, packing etc so rather not do that, no 3 it wont flow with my back piece that we are planning, which leads me seamlessly onto my back piece!
i already have a lotus and 9 stars in a kinda swirl on my back and i wants a goddess i does, to cover my whole back from my waist up. i found this amazing pic on flickr of a white tara backpiece and it has inspired me. when i showed ben he was blown away and i think i kind inspired him too :o) he agreed that the peacock feather would be a good part of it and i would be looking at a sleave if i were to go for it on my forearm and i dont want a sleave. so am in talks with him over cleaning and getting paid in ink :o) i have a steam cleaner and not afraid to use it!! also as paul does tinted windows, i might get this back piece done very reasonably ;o) YAY!
foties to follow as it is covered up and a lil bit red still, but looking fabulous and making my dragon look old and worn and even more like me ;o) but ben said he is willing to tweek that and try and freshen him up a bit to look fab with my backpiece.
only 5 days til i'm orf home to ireland. just about packed and gotta do some more cleaning ready for my house sitters, so they dont think we live like animals! lol feeling quick good about it now. i was very aprihensive as my father has been bitching about me again. i guess i take it all and never protect myself from it, he is lying, i'm not the person he claims i am or do the things he accuses me of, so i send him pink light of unconditional love to heal his pain.
as for that that was about, i went to a meditation circle last night and had a most wonderful evening, i feel calmer and more centred and much better about myself and life. even if paul was here and did sweet FA whilst i was getting inked! i know i should stop expecting him to see the things that need doing and expect him just to carry on doing his own shit and get on and do mine. hard tho, innit?
i am now going to go and sort my bedroom out, prepare some dinner and then watch stardust again.
oooooooo look at that, pimms o'clock!
ok, maybe not yet, but by the time i'm done with all my jobs it will be ;o)
i now have a peacock feather on the back of my left arm, reaching from 5 or 6 cms above my elbow and the eye resting on the back of my shoulder and me mucho impressedo. only smarted a bit on the shoulder with the outline. i had thought about having it on the inside of my forearm, but i found several reasons not to have that done YET! no 1, i'm orf to ireland and my elderly family know i've got tats and stuff, but not really appriciative of the art or mutilation, no 2 i know i will catch it on stuff and i'm cleaning, packing etc so rather not do that, no 3 it wont flow with my back piece that we are planning, which leads me seamlessly onto my back piece!
i already have a lotus and 9 stars in a kinda swirl on my back and i wants a goddess i does, to cover my whole back from my waist up. i found this amazing pic on flickr of a white tara backpiece and it has inspired me. when i showed ben he was blown away and i think i kind inspired him too :o) he agreed that the peacock feather would be a good part of it and i would be looking at a sleave if i were to go for it on my forearm and i dont want a sleave. so am in talks with him over cleaning and getting paid in ink :o) i have a steam cleaner and not afraid to use it!! also as paul does tinted windows, i might get this back piece done very reasonably ;o) YAY!
foties to follow as it is covered up and a lil bit red still, but looking fabulous and making my dragon look old and worn and even more like me ;o) but ben said he is willing to tweek that and try and freshen him up a bit to look fab with my backpiece.
only 5 days til i'm orf home to ireland. just about packed and gotta do some more cleaning ready for my house sitters, so they dont think we live like animals! lol feeling quick good about it now. i was very aprihensive as my father has been bitching about me again. i guess i take it all and never protect myself from it, he is lying, i'm not the person he claims i am or do the things he accuses me of, so i send him pink light of unconditional love to heal his pain.
as for that that was about, i went to a meditation circle last night and had a most wonderful evening, i feel calmer and more centred and much better about myself and life. even if paul was here and did sweet FA whilst i was getting inked! i know i should stop expecting him to see the things that need doing and expect him just to carry on doing his own shit and get on and do mine. hard tho, innit?
i am now going to go and sort my bedroom out, prepare some dinner and then watch stardust again.
oooooooo look at that, pimms o'clock!
ok, maybe not yet, but by the time i'm done with all my jobs it will be ;o)
Tuesday 22 July 2008
stardust
i did finally get around to watching it and i totally and utterly loved it! gonna do all my housework, packing, cleaning, washing, cleaning and cooking super quick today so that i can watch it again!!
kids last day at school today, rivers last day there ever ever ever! too much to do and i'm running out of timmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! thats a cue to stop procrastinating and move my fat arse :o)
kids last day at school today, rivers last day there ever ever ever! too much to do and i'm running out of timmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! thats a cue to stop procrastinating and move my fat arse :o)
Monday 21 July 2008
some puter time
and i'm taking full advantage of it!!
i've been packing and cleaning and sorting ready for hols. seems everything that i do, someone goes and undoes behind me! but i think i'm getting there. i spend a good couple of hours cleaning the car. oh what an exciting life i lead!! instead of allowing them to trash it in the next week, i am lucky enough to have another car which i filled with fuel (dear sweet gods! cost nearly £100!) and am slowing putting stuff i need in the holiday car and slowly getting there (she said just jinxing herself! lol).
i had planned to do a weeks juicing with a view to feel a bit more refreshed and ready for a week of chips and garlic mayo, but had a banging head yesterday and just needed some carbs. the water didnt take away the cravings for choclit!! so i wont be half a stone lighter for me hols! i'm just a fat cow mmmmmmooooooooowwwwww!
why why why has paul left the room and left the tv on??? does he think i want to watch dragon nest or what ever it is called? hhhmmmm where are you buttons??
went off to town today, i had some bills to pay before we go away and i wanted to get a few bits, my aunt wanted some henna, which reminds me that i have to print her out the distructions or she aint gonna know what to do with it!! they dont have the net, they only got mains water in the late 80's. the lovely flamesparrow came with us and we took beau and flamedaemon for a lil bit of lunch, and i had a £30 voucher for dotty p's and finally found something i liked in there! a blue leather handbag, i wanted a top in kingfisher blue (rather than kingfisher green) but found a bag instead! and it doesnt loose everything like the other bag i have YAY!! small things, i know ;o)
after dropping flame back at her car, beau and i went orf to b&q to get a new washing line that i now have to convince my husband that it is worth his while to errect and get down this one that keeps going wonking, gotta get that up on freecycle too! got rid of loads of stuff this weekend after paul and i cleaned out the garage yesterday. the house feels lighter already! also sorted the playroom as the kittens are escaping the rabbit run, so have now put a board up at the door, taken the futon bed out from under the bed, put waterproof sheet on the bed to prevent them ruining too much! they started on solids last week, it wont be long before we start finding poo!! oh i know how to live! rofl
on that note, i need to go a hunting for telly buttons, i cant stand the mumbling of these fools any longer .....
i've been packing and cleaning and sorting ready for hols. seems everything that i do, someone goes and undoes behind me! but i think i'm getting there. i spend a good couple of hours cleaning the car. oh what an exciting life i lead!! instead of allowing them to trash it in the next week, i am lucky enough to have another car which i filled with fuel (dear sweet gods! cost nearly £100!) and am slowing putting stuff i need in the holiday car and slowly getting there (she said just jinxing herself! lol).
i had planned to do a weeks juicing with a view to feel a bit more refreshed and ready for a week of chips and garlic mayo, but had a banging head yesterday and just needed some carbs. the water didnt take away the cravings for choclit!! so i wont be half a stone lighter for me hols! i'm just a fat cow mmmmmmooooooooowwwwww!
why why why has paul left the room and left the tv on??? does he think i want to watch dragon nest or what ever it is called? hhhmmmm where are you buttons??
went off to town today, i had some bills to pay before we go away and i wanted to get a few bits, my aunt wanted some henna, which reminds me that i have to print her out the distructions or she aint gonna know what to do with it!! they dont have the net, they only got mains water in the late 80's. the lovely flamesparrow came with us and we took beau and flamedaemon for a lil bit of lunch, and i had a £30 voucher for dotty p's and finally found something i liked in there! a blue leather handbag, i wanted a top in kingfisher blue (rather than kingfisher green) but found a bag instead! and it doesnt loose everything like the other bag i have YAY!! small things, i know ;o)
after dropping flame back at her car, beau and i went orf to b&q to get a new washing line that i now have to convince my husband that it is worth his while to errect and get down this one that keeps going wonking, gotta get that up on freecycle too! got rid of loads of stuff this weekend after paul and i cleaned out the garage yesterday. the house feels lighter already! also sorted the playroom as the kittens are escaping the rabbit run, so have now put a board up at the door, taken the futon bed out from under the bed, put waterproof sheet on the bed to prevent them ruining too much! they started on solids last week, it wont be long before we start finding poo!! oh i know how to live! rofl
on that note, i need to go a hunting for telly buttons, i cant stand the mumbling of these fools any longer .....
Wednesday 16 July 2008
a waffle of stuff
following my last post, which to some may seem like a post of wallowing in self pity, is further waffle.
yes, the last post was depressed and i'm not much higher than i was. after all, my family still think i am a piece of shit to be walked over and lied about and i still find that almost impossible to deal with. another thing i find hard is that not one person that i know of would say "ya know what kevin, you are full of shit and maybe you should take some responsiblity for that person that is still, after all your child, you should maybe think that your daughter has suffered because of your failings as a parent" but nobody ever does or has.
i was that kid that people knew was being mistreated but were too afraid to say anything, didnt want to get involved. because of this, it has excused his actions. he did beat me, he did mistreat me, he did not parent me and he does not see that he failed as a parent or human being. never once has he been sorry for his actions, all he has is venom for me and everytime he directs it at me i feel it and suffer because of it.
i need to heal this. i gave him another chance and he chose to take that chance to hurt me further. how can one hate their own child so much? i really wasnt ever that bad.
i decided not to celebrate my birthday, after all, it wasnt like anyone in my family would remember, and true to form, noone did. a couple of friends sent texts (thank you XXX) and i went out to lunch with toni and paul and beau. beau wanted frankie and bennies and that was cool with me. it isnt a good place for me and toni, i seriously think we ought to sign up for sign language classes, at least she and i could communicate. i also think i should get my hearing sorted, if i gotta get a hearing aid, i gotta get one. i'm sick of shouting "speak to me!! speak up!! i can't bloody hear you!" paul and the kids gave me some gifts the next day. i really didnt want anything, but guitarhero aerosmith was nice to have someone buy me instead of getting it myself. oh and paul got me some herstyle straightener which are very good and make my hair look ggggrrrreat!
went out for dinner with toni and her fella jackie, down to the restaurant in poole park, mezza luna. had mozzarella and tomato for a starter and seafood kebabs with salad and saffron rice. john and i drank 2 bottles of wine and finished off with brandys and i kept up with the brandy when i got home, cue very large hangover on sunday.
i went up to the school for an open afternoon (why is it called that when half the teachers have fecked off?) and had brief chat with rivers teacher, he supported our plans of putting river through another year of middle school at broadstone with a view to extra tutition to help him get up to speed for 2ndry. which was what i needed to hear actually.
before that though, whilst on my travels, i had decided to drive past my grandfathers house, something i do rarely as it hurts. as i pulled into the road, i spotted my grandmothers best friend, anne. so parked up and took beau over to have a quick chat with her. she only lives over the road, so we went back to the car and drove around and went in for tea and biscuits and beau had some squash too. we talked of my grandmother, how much we missed her, of the cruelty of my father, of our home - ireland and of her husband. was a nice and unexpected afternoon. i never did get to drive past his house, but what did happen made me happy instead of sad.
this evening i have just returned from the year 7 (rivers year) production of mcbeth and talent show. greg, rivers best friend, completely ignored me, think that was because i had a go at him about he and river smoking. he must have thought he was getting away with it, but i couldnt have that. i am angry at upset that they thought to do it. only that morning (friday) did we find out that river had a place in broadstone middle along with greg. they both seemed so happy and then they go and do something fecking stoopid like that! aaarrgghhh!!
as a consiquence of this, i havent smoked since sat'd.
yes, the last post was depressed and i'm not much higher than i was. after all, my family still think i am a piece of shit to be walked over and lied about and i still find that almost impossible to deal with. another thing i find hard is that not one person that i know of would say "ya know what kevin, you are full of shit and maybe you should take some responsiblity for that person that is still, after all your child, you should maybe think that your daughter has suffered because of your failings as a parent" but nobody ever does or has.
i was that kid that people knew was being mistreated but were too afraid to say anything, didnt want to get involved. because of this, it has excused his actions. he did beat me, he did mistreat me, he did not parent me and he does not see that he failed as a parent or human being. never once has he been sorry for his actions, all he has is venom for me and everytime he directs it at me i feel it and suffer because of it.
i need to heal this. i gave him another chance and he chose to take that chance to hurt me further. how can one hate their own child so much? i really wasnt ever that bad.
i decided not to celebrate my birthday, after all, it wasnt like anyone in my family would remember, and true to form, noone did. a couple of friends sent texts (thank you XXX) and i went out to lunch with toni and paul and beau. beau wanted frankie and bennies and that was cool with me. it isnt a good place for me and toni, i seriously think we ought to sign up for sign language classes, at least she and i could communicate. i also think i should get my hearing sorted, if i gotta get a hearing aid, i gotta get one. i'm sick of shouting "speak to me!! speak up!! i can't bloody hear you!" paul and the kids gave me some gifts the next day. i really didnt want anything, but guitarhero aerosmith was nice to have someone buy me instead of getting it myself. oh and paul got me some herstyle straightener which are very good and make my hair look ggggrrrreat!
went out for dinner with toni and her fella jackie, down to the restaurant in poole park, mezza luna. had mozzarella and tomato for a starter and seafood kebabs with salad and saffron rice. john and i drank 2 bottles of wine and finished off with brandys and i kept up with the brandy when i got home, cue very large hangover on sunday.
i went up to the school for an open afternoon (why is it called that when half the teachers have fecked off?) and had brief chat with rivers teacher, he supported our plans of putting river through another year of middle school at broadstone with a view to extra tutition to help him get up to speed for 2ndry. which was what i needed to hear actually.
before that though, whilst on my travels, i had decided to drive past my grandfathers house, something i do rarely as it hurts. as i pulled into the road, i spotted my grandmothers best friend, anne. so parked up and took beau over to have a quick chat with her. she only lives over the road, so we went back to the car and drove around and went in for tea and biscuits and beau had some squash too. we talked of my grandmother, how much we missed her, of the cruelty of my father, of our home - ireland and of her husband. was a nice and unexpected afternoon. i never did get to drive past his house, but what did happen made me happy instead of sad.
this evening i have just returned from the year 7 (rivers year) production of mcbeth and talent show. greg, rivers best friend, completely ignored me, think that was because i had a go at him about he and river smoking. he must have thought he was getting away with it, but i couldnt have that. i am angry at upset that they thought to do it. only that morning (friday) did we find out that river had a place in broadstone middle along with greg. they both seemed so happy and then they go and do something fecking stoopid like that! aaarrgghhh!!
as a consiquence of this, i havent smoked since sat'd.
Monday 7 July 2008
i could tell
that something bad was brewing for me, i just knew it. then, last night out on the step having a rolly paul tells me my grandfathers house is up for sale. a year ago on my birthday paul went and said to my father that we were interested in buying it. now if you know anything about my father, you know he hates me for a whole host of completly fabricated reasons. i am not after any of my grandfathers money, but i feel that i was lied to for years being promised that my children and i would be "all right" when he died. he left me £5,000 and my father is now worth 2 million, i asked for a couple of bits of furniture that had been promised to me when bert was alive and my father said he had to sell them to pay the death duties. we live in a rented house because my grandfather advised us against buying, all part of the being "all right" bullshit. i was more like a daughter to my grandparents and my father hates, yes really hates-with-gritted-teeth me. he ignores my children, what did they do to deserve it? be my children. my jewellery that was my grandmothers, never made it to me in berts lifetime, so my father has now sold it. there is nothing here that i can look at and think, yea my grandparents owned that. nothing to remind me that once someone did love me.
anyways, we look up the house on the net and find that it is for sale on tender in by noon on my birthday. see the whole hate-with-gritted-teeth thing?
how am i suposed to feel? apart from hurt, angry, more hurt? it is his intention. he could have helped us, he could have made up for the years of abuse i suffered whilst he lived with my mother. the years of pain i suffered because my brother (not even his child) have everything, clothes, toys, money, love that i never have and still, i'm 35 in less than 2 days and he is still abusing me. still finding a way to punish me for being born.
i wish i hadnt been, i wish i had killed her and me with my birth. at least my own family would have thought of me with love.
i am nothing. never have been to anyone.
anyways, we look up the house on the net and find that it is for sale on tender in by noon on my birthday. see the whole hate-with-gritted-teeth thing?
how am i suposed to feel? apart from hurt, angry, more hurt? it is his intention. he could have helped us, he could have made up for the years of abuse i suffered whilst he lived with my mother. the years of pain i suffered because my brother (not even his child) have everything, clothes, toys, money, love that i never have and still, i'm 35 in less than 2 days and he is still abusing me. still finding a way to punish me for being born.
i wish i hadnt been, i wish i had killed her and me with my birth. at least my own family would have thought of me with love.
i am nothing. never have been to anyone.
Sunday 15 June 2008
tharfers day
is what was written in one of paulees cards today, made me chuckle so thought i'd blog it :o) we got him lush and some books and kids made some cards.
other than that, i'm going to moan. my stomach has been cramping and churning and generally achy and painful for the last 5 hours. i am going to take some codine i think, i dont know what else to do. went out to kingston lacy for lunch, but was raining and busy and i didnt have the nation trust card on me, so went to go to pamphill dairy, but my stomach was killing so paul said lets go home, so we did. got the kids evil KFC on the way back and kids now fed and happy. and i'm still in fecking pain.
got the b & b's sorted for ireland, staying in one the night we arrive there and one before we catch ferry back, paul doesnt like to do it all in one day and i'm totally with him, i remember being so pissed off being stuck in the car for 6 hours, then ferry for 5 then another 6 the other side, mostly only stopping to eat the sandwich prepared the day before. the first time we went over together we did it in one go, left really early and ended up catching the earlier ferry over. this was great, getting to ireland at 6am instead of 12.30 or what ever it was, but kids and paul were all really tired and slept as i drove across ireland. i hadnt slept either, not much the few days before either. and my husband had the bare faced cheek to have a moan that i fell asleep at 7pm that night!!
maud and her babies are all doing fine. she has come out a few times to eat and go to the litter tray, eating well and proud of her pretty babes :o)
other than that, i'm going to moan. my stomach has been cramping and churning and generally achy and painful for the last 5 hours. i am going to take some codine i think, i dont know what else to do. went out to kingston lacy for lunch, but was raining and busy and i didnt have the nation trust card on me, so went to go to pamphill dairy, but my stomach was killing so paul said lets go home, so we did. got the kids evil KFC on the way back and kids now fed and happy. and i'm still in fecking pain.
got the b & b's sorted for ireland, staying in one the night we arrive there and one before we catch ferry back, paul doesnt like to do it all in one day and i'm totally with him, i remember being so pissed off being stuck in the car for 6 hours, then ferry for 5 then another 6 the other side, mostly only stopping to eat the sandwich prepared the day before. the first time we went over together we did it in one go, left really early and ended up catching the earlier ferry over. this was great, getting to ireland at 6am instead of 12.30 or what ever it was, but kids and paul were all really tired and slept as i drove across ireland. i hadnt slept either, not much the few days before either. and my husband had the bare faced cheek to have a moan that i fell asleep at 7pm that night!!
maud and her babies are all doing fine. she has come out a few times to eat and go to the litter tray, eating well and proud of her pretty babes :o)
Saturday 14 June 2008
babies!
maud had her kittens on thursday evening, i knew it couldnt be long!!!
she had 4, we discovered her just as no 4 was born, but she was so tired at this stage, she didnt show any interest in it when it was born and after a few minutes i kind shoved it towards her and she started cleaning it etc, but was too late and the lil one never breathed :o(
she is happily feeding and cleaning and cuddling the others now, making sure she had plenty of food, i go in every so often and she will leave the crate and go to the litter box or eat something. not keen on doing it if she is alone tho.
we have one white with ginger splodges and tail currently known as spider-pig, one torty and white like her with the very tip of her tail white and there is a ginger flash on her face so flash is kinda sticking as a name and the last is black with grey strips between the eyes and on his side, he is shadow and my fav :o)the last one was all black, so a bit gutted at the cruelty of life, but thats the way it is i guess.
pix to follow :o)
she had 4, we discovered her just as no 4 was born, but she was so tired at this stage, she didnt show any interest in it when it was born and after a few minutes i kind shoved it towards her and she started cleaning it etc, but was too late and the lil one never breathed :o(
she is happily feeding and cleaning and cuddling the others now, making sure she had plenty of food, i go in every so often and she will leave the crate and go to the litter box or eat something. not keen on doing it if she is alone tho.
we have one white with ginger splodges and tail currently known as spider-pig, one torty and white like her with the very tip of her tail white and there is a ginger flash on her face so flash is kinda sticking as a name and the last is black with grey strips between the eyes and on his side, he is shadow and my fav :o)the last one was all black, so a bit gutted at the cruelty of life, but thats the way it is i guess.
pix to follow :o)
Thursday 12 June 2008
yay! hols are booked!!
finally got the ferry booked today! i have been putting it off and forgetting and just not getting around to it since i decided to buy a car instead of a month in ireland, but now tis done AND i managed to save the price of the kids ferry fares, no not by leaving them behind, altho i am tempted, but by getting a deal with irish ferries!! woohoo!! looks like i am keeping the voyager until then at least.
talking of the voyager, had that into chrysler this week as last week i couldnt get the key to move in the lock, the ignition had siezed which is a common enough fault. tis done now and should last until we get back from ireland at least, which is good coz it is the perfect holiday vehicle.
gotta go up to school later as river had a letter home last night. the letter says that river acted dangerously, putting himself and others in danger with a chair. he says he was sitting on it as a lunchlady said he could, he was then told to move and when he said he could sit there it all kicked off. so going to see to dep head about that and some other incidences that have been happening, the cricket teacher taking the piss, a teacher threatening him and his nemisis that pretends to be mates with him and gets him into trouble.
i hate school and i wish i could home ed, but life is too short to spend all my time teaching them and to be properly educated you need structure with doesnt work when it adds me and my kids to the mix, so they are in school and i am at home. i was thinking about this yesterday when over with another ex-home edder. her child also asked to go to school as he knew he required more than was possible to get at home. i have heard all the arguments about how autonomous home ed is sposed to work, but it doesnt. at all. i was selfish keeping the children at home for so long when it clearly wasnt working. they needed to learn to read much earlier, they need to feedback from other children and a tinpot home ed group doesnt cut it.
i've been baking lots, made paulee a choclit mallow cake with double cream and raspberries for his burpday, made some choclit cinnimon merange and orange faery cakes which were divine with some lemon sorbet!
HFC (hatty fried chicken) tonight, my own secret recipe of herbs and spices coating freerange chicken legs and fried. served with greek salad and garlic mayo. i was going to make bread and butter pudding coz i have fancied it for ages, but dont have any stalish bread. never mind.
mauds babies have gotta be born soon, or she is gonna pop i swear it!! i have prepared her nest, aka a crate with some blankets and old towel in, put it in a shady corner of my room behind my clothes horse, i mean exercise bike ;o) also put her a litter tray in the ensuite and she has used both, so i dont think it can be far off now.
think the post has just come and with it (and a bit of luck) a letter telling me what i have to do to get my new washing machine, the other (which is only a year old!) has the bearings gone, so the insurance have said we can have a new one!! woohoo!! i just wanna wash me whites!!
talking of the voyager, had that into chrysler this week as last week i couldnt get the key to move in the lock, the ignition had siezed which is a common enough fault. tis done now and should last until we get back from ireland at least, which is good coz it is the perfect holiday vehicle.
gotta go up to school later as river had a letter home last night. the letter says that river acted dangerously, putting himself and others in danger with a chair. he says he was sitting on it as a lunchlady said he could, he was then told to move and when he said he could sit there it all kicked off. so going to see to dep head about that and some other incidences that have been happening, the cricket teacher taking the piss, a teacher threatening him and his nemisis that pretends to be mates with him and gets him into trouble.
i hate school and i wish i could home ed, but life is too short to spend all my time teaching them and to be properly educated you need structure with doesnt work when it adds me and my kids to the mix, so they are in school and i am at home. i was thinking about this yesterday when over with another ex-home edder. her child also asked to go to school as he knew he required more than was possible to get at home. i have heard all the arguments about how autonomous home ed is sposed to work, but it doesnt. at all. i was selfish keeping the children at home for so long when it clearly wasnt working. they needed to learn to read much earlier, they need to feedback from other children and a tinpot home ed group doesnt cut it.
i've been baking lots, made paulee a choclit mallow cake with double cream and raspberries for his burpday, made some choclit cinnimon merange and orange faery cakes which were divine with some lemon sorbet!
HFC (hatty fried chicken) tonight, my own secret recipe of herbs and spices coating freerange chicken legs and fried. served with greek salad and garlic mayo. i was going to make bread and butter pudding coz i have fancied it for ages, but dont have any stalish bread. never mind.
mauds babies have gotta be born soon, or she is gonna pop i swear it!! i have prepared her nest, aka a crate with some blankets and old towel in, put it in a shady corner of my room behind my clothes horse, i mean exercise bike ;o) also put her a litter tray in the ensuite and she has used both, so i dont think it can be far off now.
think the post has just come and with it (and a bit of luck) a letter telling me what i have to do to get my new washing machine, the other (which is only a year old!) has the bearings gone, so the insurance have said we can have a new one!! woohoo!! i just wanna wash me whites!!
Sunday 25 May 2008
oh no!
panic! the mac has broken!! and i'm religated to using one of the kids pc's. has a stoopid keyboard that i believe belonged to my mil once before she felt that buy another new computer she didnt know how to use was imperative to her survival and pretending her grandchilden that i mothered dont exisit. still, i'm sure it wont be long before the shit hits the fan and everyone is left wondering wtf happened. i'll blog about it as the walls turn brown, promise ;o)
in other news, i saw my half brother martin this week. told him who is real father is, as our mother has chosen to lie to him again. as i was privvy to this information, i felt it my duty to pass it along. i did tell her that i would if she chose not to. turns out her husband had a *heart attack* that morning (wednesday) but i'm very sceptical, the man is so full of shit it comes out each time he talks.
kids are on weeks hols from school, the spring half term. river has a project to complete, 2 actually as he was doing his "if i ignore it it will go away" bullshit wilson thing and not doing his homework. so he is set 4 hours work a day during the break. it is actually easier to get him to do this work than when he was home educated. mostly because he has direction and motivation, both were lacking with home ed and those around us supporting that way of education. i can now see that autonomous learning is, for the most part, bollox. i really failed my kids by not pushing our lives into a stuctured approach as that is the only way children learn all they need to. i am going to be looking into getting river a tutor to get him up to speed and hopefully repair some of the damage autonomous learning has done.
right i hate this keyboard so i'm off to sainsbos for coffee and organic chickens!!
in other news, i saw my half brother martin this week. told him who is real father is, as our mother has chosen to lie to him again. as i was privvy to this information, i felt it my duty to pass it along. i did tell her that i would if she chose not to. turns out her husband had a *heart attack* that morning (wednesday) but i'm very sceptical, the man is so full of shit it comes out each time he talks.
kids are on weeks hols from school, the spring half term. river has a project to complete, 2 actually as he was doing his "if i ignore it it will go away" bullshit wilson thing and not doing his homework. so he is set 4 hours work a day during the break. it is actually easier to get him to do this work than when he was home educated. mostly because he has direction and motivation, both were lacking with home ed and those around us supporting that way of education. i can now see that autonomous learning is, for the most part, bollox. i really failed my kids by not pushing our lives into a stuctured approach as that is the only way children learn all they need to. i am going to be looking into getting river a tutor to get him up to speed and hopefully repair some of the damage autonomous learning has done.
right i hate this keyboard so i'm off to sainsbos for coffee and organic chickens!!
Wednesday 21 May 2008
tagged ....
been tagged by the lovely willow :o)
most of these are fairly clear i think ;o)
1) How would you describe yourself?
dancing in a lesbian bar - jonathan richman
2) What do you like in a bloke?
love junky - nick harper
3) What is your motto?
i'm affected - the ramones
4) What do your friends think of you?
psycho - system of a down/
hard headed woman - cat stevens
5) What do you think about often?
song to the siren - tim buckley
6) What do your parents think of you?
there is no home for you here - white stripes
7) What do you think of your best friend?
pretty fly for a white guy - offspring
8) What do you think of the person you like?
dancing barefoot- patti smith
9) What do you want to be when you grow up?
i want to be a hippy - technohead
10) What do you think when you see the person you like?
an occasional dream - dave bowie
11) What song will they play at your wedding?
march of the mad scientist - jethro tull
12) What will they play at your funeral?
lifes a long song - jethro tull
13) What is your hobby/interest?
even flow -pearl jam
14) What is your biggest fear?
clash with reality - pantera
down with the sickness - disturbed
15) What is your biggest secret?
bad speech - roy harper and jimmy page
16) What do you think of your friends?
pure morning -placebo
17) What is your theme song?
clean - depeche mode
jacky - marc almond
18) What do you think of your family?
i could die for you - red hot chili peppers
19) What is your best friend's theme song?
daysleeper - rem
same jeans - the fray
20) What is your mood right now?
roll your own - jethro tull
21) If your heart could talk what would it say?
anarchy in the uk - the sex pistols
22) What do your co-workers think of you?
psycho - system of a down
23) What does your future look like?
sunday morning - the velvet underground
tagging flame ;op
most of these are fairly clear i think ;o)
1) How would you describe yourself?
dancing in a lesbian bar - jonathan richman
2) What do you like in a bloke?
love junky - nick harper
3) What is your motto?
i'm affected - the ramones
4) What do your friends think of you?
psycho - system of a down/
hard headed woman - cat stevens
5) What do you think about often?
song to the siren - tim buckley
6) What do your parents think of you?
there is no home for you here - white stripes
7) What do you think of your best friend?
pretty fly for a white guy - offspring
8) What do you think of the person you like?
dancing barefoot- patti smith
9) What do you want to be when you grow up?
i want to be a hippy - technohead
10) What do you think when you see the person you like?
an occasional dream - dave bowie
11) What song will they play at your wedding?
march of the mad scientist - jethro tull
12) What will they play at your funeral?
lifes a long song - jethro tull
13) What is your hobby/interest?
even flow -pearl jam
14) What is your biggest fear?
clash with reality - pantera
down with the sickness - disturbed
15) What is your biggest secret?
bad speech - roy harper and jimmy page
16) What do you think of your friends?
pure morning -placebo
17) What is your theme song?
clean - depeche mode
jacky - marc almond
18) What do you think of your family?
i could die for you - red hot chili peppers
19) What is your best friend's theme song?
daysleeper - rem
same jeans - the fray
20) What is your mood right now?
roll your own - jethro tull
21) If your heart could talk what would it say?
anarchy in the uk - the sex pistols
22) What do your co-workers think of you?
psycho - system of a down
23) What does your future look like?
sunday morning - the velvet underground
tagging flame ;op
Tuesday 20 May 2008
new babies!!
seems like maud, my beautiful lil kittycat is preggers! she is very sleepy and hungry and growing huge at an alarmly fast rate. just spoke to my mate nic and her cat had her 3 kittens at the weekend, all black and white and fluffy and looking like their mammy :o) cant wait to go visit, get beau into the idea of babycats that cannot be cuddled YET!!
what else?
erm, beau is still loving playgroup. i know she misses the guys (her collective name for her brothers and sisters) when they are at school and even has chase as her invisible friend when she is here alone. how cute is that???? she has settled better than any of the others did, not worrying at all when i say goodbye *sniff* but she is happy and i guess that is what counts.
this bloody hiatus hernia is giving me shit the last few days. getting a bit scared to eat as it seems to be worse when i do, but still uncomfortable when i dont. so going with the eating very little and have lost half a stone in the last couple of weeks, so not knocking it :o) just need to start using some of the exercise equiment i have, bike, cross trainer, mini tram and ab-deck thing. i should have a size 10 toned body, if these things worked by just owning them!! lmao
went to town with edz and beau yesterday, needed to do a lush shop and popped down to next and bhs, got edz some school skirts from bhs and edz a mini skirt, chase a tshirt, river a tshirt and me 2 tops, a skirt and a pair of crop trews. the skirt i saw when it had just come into the shop and pointed it out to paulee, he quickly escorted me out of the shop, but yesterday edz saw it and ran up to me saying "hatty! you HAVE to buy this!!" so i did :o) and it is gorg!! pink and cream with paisley in gold, looks great and i hope that dropping a few more lbs and will look even better!!
gotta get back on the phone to sort rivers 2ndry school. i did leave a message, but havent been rung back, so will chase up again after 2pm as i suspect (being a government office) they will have exetended lunch times ;o)
planning on getting my spinning wheel out of the garage this week, fixing it and washing some of the fleece i have in the shed and start spinning again. also planning on getting some more patterns and making more clothes. i did enjoy it and so did edz, so i should expand on that, should i not?
more washing needs to go on, only the 5th load. or is it the 6th? 6th i think. might mop the floors too. whilst beau is sleeping and not likely to walk on it.
amor mundi
what else?
erm, beau is still loving playgroup. i know she misses the guys (her collective name for her brothers and sisters) when they are at school and even has chase as her invisible friend when she is here alone. how cute is that???? she has settled better than any of the others did, not worrying at all when i say goodbye *sniff* but she is happy and i guess that is what counts.
this bloody hiatus hernia is giving me shit the last few days. getting a bit scared to eat as it seems to be worse when i do, but still uncomfortable when i dont. so going with the eating very little and have lost half a stone in the last couple of weeks, so not knocking it :o) just need to start using some of the exercise equiment i have, bike, cross trainer, mini tram and ab-deck thing. i should have a size 10 toned body, if these things worked by just owning them!! lmao
went to town with edz and beau yesterday, needed to do a lush shop and popped down to next and bhs, got edz some school skirts from bhs and edz a mini skirt, chase a tshirt, river a tshirt and me 2 tops, a skirt and a pair of crop trews. the skirt i saw when it had just come into the shop and pointed it out to paulee, he quickly escorted me out of the shop, but yesterday edz saw it and ran up to me saying "hatty! you HAVE to buy this!!" so i did :o) and it is gorg!! pink and cream with paisley in gold, looks great and i hope that dropping a few more lbs and will look even better!!
gotta get back on the phone to sort rivers 2ndry school. i did leave a message, but havent been rung back, so will chase up again after 2pm as i suspect (being a government office) they will have exetended lunch times ;o)
planning on getting my spinning wheel out of the garage this week, fixing it and washing some of the fleece i have in the shed and start spinning again. also planning on getting some more patterns and making more clothes. i did enjoy it and so did edz, so i should expand on that, should i not?
more washing needs to go on, only the 5th load. or is it the 6th? 6th i think. might mop the floors too. whilst beau is sleeping and not likely to walk on it.
amor mundi
Monday 12 May 2008
moochy monday
after tearing around trying to get to the field and bea and the pones for 10, i was still late! we havent been to the field for about 18 months and lots had changed, for a start there is a caravan and a very nice one too!! placed in the perfect spot to catch all the breezes, be pleasent enough to sit in, not too blowy or too hot and all mod cons, kettle, sofas and vanilla redbush tea which was ooooo sooooo yummy!! 
we started our visit with some grooming of madam moon and muttley. beau was very insistant that moon was HER horse, altho i am convinced tis the other way around, when beau and moon were first introduced beau was less than 2 months old, in her carry car seat that i place on the ground of the field and moon stuck her head in thinking it was a bucket (er no, thats my baby moon!) and the cutest thing was, not only did they get a good look at each other, just cm's apart, but moon, very gently and carefully, explored beaus fingers and toes with her lips, decided grass was much nicer and munch on :o) beau has never shown any fear of her since. we do go to the heavy horse centre in verwood and she has often shyed away at the horses when close up or they have gone to investigate beau, but never done it with madam moon.
after moon and muttley were prettied a bit, bea offered to let me have a bit of a ride around the field (been a LONG time since i went any distance on a pone!) and tacked her up for me. t'was lovely, gentle walking around the field dum de dum when moon decided it wasnt exciting enough and started to canter, ooo eck! from across the other side of the field bea is shouting orders to me and moon, moon to woah and me to sit straight, straighten my back, put my heals down or i'm gonna be on me arse. the fence (with bea and beau the otherside of it) is fast approaching and moon does a full stop, quickly but without stalling, when she comes head to head with her mammy! i was rolling in my saddle with laughter, and she didnt put me off ;o)
we returned pones to field and went for a spot of lunch in the caravan and a lovely chat and vanilla tea mmmmmmmm beau gave the remains (which wasnt much) to the chooks and was chuffed to pieces with the photos we took :o) so big thanks from me and the beaubeaus to bea for putting up with us!! we had a lovely time! thank you!!! xxxx
after saying our goodbyes and promises to come and disturb the peace at the field during half term with my minions, i raced back over to get the guys from school, then back to pop some washing out on the line to catch the last of the afternoon sun in the garden and pop some jacket tatters in the oven for dinner after swimming which was our next stop!! my friend, brina, that i met at swimming and it was because of her lickle baby son, harvey, who is now a terror on 2 feet, was pleased to see us as we were pleased to see her too! harvey actually walked to me, arms out for a cuddle!!! awww
tomorrow is beaubaleeze first full morning on her own at playgroup and i hope she is happy, coz i have a shed load of things to be doing whilst she is there!! lol
we started our visit with some grooming of madam moon and muttley. beau was very insistant that moon was HER horse, altho i am convinced tis the other way around, when beau and moon were first introduced beau was less than 2 months old, in her carry car seat that i place on the ground of the field and moon stuck her head in thinking it was a bucket (er no, thats my baby moon!) and the cutest thing was, not only did they get a good look at each other, just cm's apart, but moon, very gently and carefully, explored beaus fingers and toes with her lips, decided grass was much nicer and munch on :o) beau has never shown any fear of her since. we do go to the heavy horse centre in verwood and she has often shyed away at the horses when close up or they have gone to investigate beau, but never done it with madam moon.
after moon and muttley were prettied a bit, bea offered to let me have a bit of a ride around the field (been a LONG time since i went any distance on a pone!) and tacked her up for me. t'was lovely, gentle walking around the field dum de dum when moon decided it wasnt exciting enough and started to canter, ooo eck! from across the other side of the field bea is shouting orders to me and moon, moon to woah and me to sit straight, straighten my back, put my heals down or i'm gonna be on me arse. the fence (with bea and beau the otherside of it) is fast approaching and moon does a full stop, quickly but without stalling, when she comes head to head with her mammy! i was rolling in my saddle with laughter, and she didnt put me off ;o)
we returned pones to field and went for a spot of lunch in the caravan and a lovely chat and vanilla tea mmmmmmmm beau gave the remains (which wasnt much) to the chooks and was chuffed to pieces with the photos we took :o) so big thanks from me and the beaubeaus to bea for putting up with us!! we had a lovely time! thank you!!! xxxxafter saying our goodbyes and promises to come and disturb the peace at the field during half term with my minions, i raced back over to get the guys from school, then back to pop some washing out on the line to catch the last of the afternoon sun in the garden and pop some jacket tatters in the oven for dinner after swimming which was our next stop!! my friend, brina, that i met at swimming and it was because of her lickle baby son, harvey, who is now a terror on 2 feet, was pleased to see us as we were pleased to see her too! harvey actually walked to me, arms out for a cuddle!!! awww
tomorrow is beaubaleeze first full morning on her own at playgroup and i hope she is happy, coz i have a shed load of things to be doing whilst she is there!! lol
Thursday 8 May 2008
home
what defines a home?
aparently not where the majority of your siblings are, not where you end up when all else has gone tits up in your life, not somewhere that people have been fighting for most of your life to see you more, not where you have been forgiven time after time. home is where you walk all over people and get what you want because you are the centre of the universe.
word according to tyler. this isnt his home.
thanks.
aparently not where the majority of your siblings are, not where you end up when all else has gone tits up in your life, not somewhere that people have been fighting for most of your life to see you more, not where you have been forgiven time after time. home is where you walk all over people and get what you want because you are the centre of the universe.
word according to tyler. this isnt his home.
thanks.
tylerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
monday last week, paul gets a call from taz at her wits end. tyler had called her to *Tell* he is was sleeping at his mates. she said no, he told her again he was. there ensued a huge row and she wanted paul to go get tyler, paul told tyler to go home and that he wasnt coming to get him as i was at a neighbours bodyshop party, i never get to go out and he knew i would have had a couple of glasses of wine (cue me barely being able to walk home 2 doors away!) and tyler went home, taz gave him huge bollocking and decided he needed to come to us for a couple of weeks. tuesday he comes over and also messes up and school and get excluded for the day wednesday, so has to spend the day with me. also coming to light is tyler taking his mothers creditcard and buying something for his game he plays online, what he thought was about a fiver ended up being around £80!!!! he had slipped a £20 into her wallet, because he felt bad. i went mental. i now have, not just a rude manipulative little gobshite in my house, but a liar and theif too!! yea, bound to make for a happy hatty!!! ggggrrrrrr
anyways, the excluded day goes without hitch, get loads of cleaning done, he sorts the sideboard in his room (aka my kids playroom) to make space for his things, i cleaned floors and walls and lav and felt accomplished. he then made dinner.
all had been going ok, spending most of the time in his room playing his pc or the xbox. i wasnt happy about it, feel he should have tried to act as part of our family instead of trying to distance himself. but wtf do i know?
yesterday, i called paul to say that i wasnt feeling happy and wobbling in my sanity a bit when he just erupts into full "i've just had a phone call and it is more important than anything about you" and tells me how taz has called him, the school had called her as tyler isnt in his lesson. he was at his SATS exams and now was nowhere to be found. we agreed to sit on it until dinner time (coley steaks with citrus and olive rub cooked with sweetcorn peas and carrots and served with noodles - havent been shopping so now getting inventive!) but as i pull up to pick him up, he is with a teacher who informs me that tyler had skipped last lesson and they needed to know where he was and that he was ok. paul in the mean time was speaking with tylers head of house, who is basically at his wits end, and i think completly bored of dealing with him. tyler down played that he bunked of lessons, was in enough shit and basically bullshitted. his school bag was *left on a bus on friday* but i think is complete bollox, but not looking like we are going to get the truth from that one either!! ggggrrrrrr
when paul got in he challenged him again, after the last bollocking he got for the being a git, getting suspended, stealing, ending up at ours, i said that he would be loosing his wages and working for nothing, after having them cut by a £5. he also lost his puter, so he has nothing to do in his room at all. he has now mixed with the other, played with all the kids last night, getting beau breakfast this morning and playing princes and princesses with her (he is 14 the end of the month and she is 3 next month!) and generally fussing over her.
this morning he informs us he doesnt have a spare uniform to the one that has just gone in the machine!!! aarrrgghhhh now i'm fuming and he has managed to do it BEFORE 8am!!
lies, theiving, bunking lessons, gobbing off, ignoring everything, i know tis all typical teenage behaviour. why am i having to deal with it from someone who isnt my kid? the idea was in january, that we - paul taz and me - work together, he doesnt get to play us off and she already kept the money thing to herself. the job that was created to help him pay off his mother he has already *forgotten* one sat'd and gone over to stay at his mates and *left his phone on the side with no credit* the bill has gone up from £300 to nearly £600 and he still thinks he can mess everyone about.
i'm bored of this and fecking miserably.
anyways, the excluded day goes without hitch, get loads of cleaning done, he sorts the sideboard in his room (aka my kids playroom) to make space for his things, i cleaned floors and walls and lav and felt accomplished. he then made dinner.
all had been going ok, spending most of the time in his room playing his pc or the xbox. i wasnt happy about it, feel he should have tried to act as part of our family instead of trying to distance himself. but wtf do i know?
yesterday, i called paul to say that i wasnt feeling happy and wobbling in my sanity a bit when he just erupts into full "i've just had a phone call and it is more important than anything about you" and tells me how taz has called him, the school had called her as tyler isnt in his lesson. he was at his SATS exams and now was nowhere to be found. we agreed to sit on it until dinner time (coley steaks with citrus and olive rub cooked with sweetcorn peas and carrots and served with noodles - havent been shopping so now getting inventive!) but as i pull up to pick him up, he is with a teacher who informs me that tyler had skipped last lesson and they needed to know where he was and that he was ok. paul in the mean time was speaking with tylers head of house, who is basically at his wits end, and i think completly bored of dealing with him. tyler down played that he bunked of lessons, was in enough shit and basically bullshitted. his school bag was *left on a bus on friday* but i think is complete bollox, but not looking like we are going to get the truth from that one either!! ggggrrrrrr
when paul got in he challenged him again, after the last bollocking he got for the being a git, getting suspended, stealing, ending up at ours, i said that he would be loosing his wages and working for nothing, after having them cut by a £5. he also lost his puter, so he has nothing to do in his room at all. he has now mixed with the other, played with all the kids last night, getting beau breakfast this morning and playing princes and princesses with her (he is 14 the end of the month and she is 3 next month!) and generally fussing over her.
this morning he informs us he doesnt have a spare uniform to the one that has just gone in the machine!!! aarrrgghhhh now i'm fuming and he has managed to do it BEFORE 8am!!
lies, theiving, bunking lessons, gobbing off, ignoring everything, i know tis all typical teenage behaviour. why am i having to deal with it from someone who isnt my kid? the idea was in january, that we - paul taz and me - work together, he doesnt get to play us off and she already kept the money thing to herself. the job that was created to help him pay off his mother he has already *forgotten* one sat'd and gone over to stay at his mates and *left his phone on the side with no credit* the bill has gone up from £300 to nearly £600 and he still thinks he can mess everyone about.
i'm bored of this and fecking miserably.
Wednesday 7 May 2008
black birds
i was informed this morning that lady black birds are actually brown, i did know this, in fact i was the one who taught him that. humph.
anyways, i was then asked about blackbird weddings, which, i have to say, i am not well versed on bird marriages in general. when i said i didnt know what happened when a man and a woman blackbird got married, i was told that i dont know much about birds do i???? not about their wedding rituals i dont, no. i dont know about whether they have other birds as bridesmaid or what gifts get brought, though i suspect it is mostly worms.
he and chase proceeded to look through a couple of book of birds we have, looking for why they are called blackbirds and if there were any hints on weddings.
need to dry hair to look fantastic for the school gate!
pmsl
anyways, i was then asked about blackbird weddings, which, i have to say, i am not well versed on bird marriages in general. when i said i didnt know what happened when a man and a woman blackbird got married, i was told that i dont know much about birds do i???? not about their wedding rituals i dont, no. i dont know about whether they have other birds as bridesmaid or what gifts get brought, though i suspect it is mostly worms.
he and chase proceeded to look through a couple of book of birds we have, looking for why they are called blackbirds and if there were any hints on weddings.
need to dry hair to look fantastic for the school gate!
pmsl
Tuesday 6 May 2008
work of the week
this morning i have just spent the last 2 1.2 hours at the school as 2 of my schoolies had work of the week (basically they worked the hardest in their classes last week and got rewarded with a certificate and the embarrassment of having your parents and the rest of the school know that you worked the hardest last week). in chases one her friend charlotte also got work of the week and i was chatting her mum before, during and after. then saw gregs stepdad (also a mate of mine from school) at the gate and gave him a quick bit of goss i heard about an old school mate of both of ours. then back to the other building for edens work of the week and also bonnie got it too, so i sat with her mum and chatted about life, the universe and yetti before during and after too!
been driving my new car this morning, a 3.3 l petrol chrystlar voyager which i'm not sure i like now so concidering putting up on ebay, even just to recoup my dosh and get something else. i dunno, i'm so fickle!
bank holiday weekend was spent, friday, bonnie stayed over, sat'd edz was a brat and sent to bed early, sunday i was in agony with my stomach between hiatus hernia and ibs, i felt like i was digesting fire, monday paul worked the morning and the afternoon was spent with toni and her new fella john aka jackie as he is a lad ;o)
i'm still waiting to hear from the solicitor about the will, not recieved that yet, which has slightly annoyed me, but kevin does these things to piss me off, the selfish wanka.
tyler is still here. pleasing himself for the most part, but who am i to tell him differently? he is now doing reading daily with chase whilst he is here and doing chores when i tell him, usually badly, but again who am i to tell him differently? no-one important. something that once more is made startlingly clear. i have tried to make him welcome and comfortable, but he is still allowed to do what he likes when he likes. he chooses to stay in his room and remain insulatated from the rest of us. i'm sure in years to come, something else i'll get the blame for. paul wont see it, purely because he doesnt see what is wrong with him keeping himself away from us. maybe he wouldnt be so controlling and manipulative if he was made to do what the rest of us do.
my washing line awaits my washing, the machine awaits the next load and my sink awaits being cleaned.
dont say i dont know how to live!!
been driving my new car this morning, a 3.3 l petrol chrystlar voyager which i'm not sure i like now so concidering putting up on ebay, even just to recoup my dosh and get something else. i dunno, i'm so fickle!
bank holiday weekend was spent, friday, bonnie stayed over, sat'd edz was a brat and sent to bed early, sunday i was in agony with my stomach between hiatus hernia and ibs, i felt like i was digesting fire, monday paul worked the morning and the afternoon was spent with toni and her new fella john aka jackie as he is a lad ;o)
i'm still waiting to hear from the solicitor about the will, not recieved that yet, which has slightly annoyed me, but kevin does these things to piss me off, the selfish wanka.
tyler is still here. pleasing himself for the most part, but who am i to tell him differently? he is now doing reading daily with chase whilst he is here and doing chores when i tell him, usually badly, but again who am i to tell him differently? no-one important. something that once more is made startlingly clear. i have tried to make him welcome and comfortable, but he is still allowed to do what he likes when he likes. he chooses to stay in his room and remain insulatated from the rest of us. i'm sure in years to come, something else i'll get the blame for. paul wont see it, purely because he doesnt see what is wrong with him keeping himself away from us. maybe he wouldnt be so controlling and manipulative if he was made to do what the rest of us do.
my washing line awaits my washing, the machine awaits the next load and my sink awaits being cleaned.
dont say i dont know how to live!!
Friday 25 April 2008
over
came today, with a cheque for £5000. it was my inheritance from my grandfathers £1.5 million estate. £45k in legacies and the rest for my father.
the slap was in the form of the £500 my children have been left. because my grandfather didnt update his will to include my other children, just 2 of them, with £250 each, my dad is only authorising £500 pay out for all my 5 offspring. he did say to me they would get what was coming. their existance must really offend him.
i just want to die, that has hurt me more than i thought possible.
paul just told me he was tempted to phone my father this morning. but he wont. he doesnt. i'm only his wife and anyone can do everything possible to insult me, he wouldnt care. he doesnt care. after today, it couldnt be more obvious. he as much as said it, he wouldnt come out and say it, too much confrontation for someone as weak as him. i always thought it was a strength, his laid back attitude. but now i see it is just avoidance.
thanks, what more could one want from a husband??
the slap was in the form of the £500 my children have been left. because my grandfather didnt update his will to include my other children, just 2 of them, with £250 each, my dad is only authorising £500 pay out for all my 5 offspring. he did say to me they would get what was coming. their existance must really offend him.
i just want to die, that has hurt me more than i thought possible.
paul just told me he was tempted to phone my father this morning. but he wont. he doesnt. i'm only his wife and anyone can do everything possible to insult me, he wouldnt care. he doesnt care. after today, it couldnt be more obvious. he as much as said it, he wouldnt come out and say it, too much confrontation for someone as weak as him. i always thought it was a strength, his laid back attitude. but now i see it is just avoidance.
thanks, what more could one want from a husband??
Thursday 24 April 2008
my poor wee man
we were all sat at the kitchen table eating our dinner of hattys special fried rice and HFC (nope that wasnt me that was for dinner!) hatty fried chicken! anyways, sparks said something about his grandmother (pauls mother) being a murderer and promptly burst into tears, when i asked him what he meant by that, he said "because she grab chase and tried to strangle her and that could have killer her and it was freezing cold and she chucked her out of the house!" those that dont know, pauls mother did indeed do this, on boxing day and neither we nor the children have seen her since, nor wanted to, obviously!
i brought him into the lounge to have a chat about it and i couldnt believe how upset this made him, i knew that he had been witness to it, but didnt know that is what he thought!
my poor boy!
i think he was a bit tired, he had my bezzy mate nics son jamie over for tea yesterday and they were in and out, playing in the garden, on the wii, in sparks room. then today, he had the day off and i took him and james, bonnies lil bro, over to the bournemouth oceanarium and then to harry ramsdens for lunch of pizza and chippies and icecream to follow. i had planned on moors valley, but weather was wet this morning and, knowing what it is like in the rain, i didnt wanna take james back looking like he had been bathed in mud!! so quick trip to the park on the way home and half hour on the wii before taking james up the school to meet his mum when she picked up bonnie. gods, that boy is loud!! but all in all, taking out two six year olds was, as expected, filled with much giggling, lying (i've got a pet wolf, yea sure you have dude!) and playing of nintendo dses! he ate all his lunch (even if he did lick out the ketchup lid (eeww eewww ewww) and got his pudding. sparks was made up he got to have some of his mates over for a change, it is usually river and edz mates that come over, altho, when cat and laura and eli came down 2 sat'ds ago, there was toby (6) jack (7) luca and fae (nearly 3) and rhiannon (9) so chase was the only one left out. that said, i had a chat with charlottes mum and she said, as long as charlotte wants to, charlotte could come over for dinner one evening, but she isnt eating much, so i am going to give it a go at getting her to cook with chase, and hopefully more inclined to eat something she had prepared and cooked! i can hope!!!
right beaubaleeze has been bathed, the girls have cleaned their room, river and the other children in the street are bring up rolls of turf from down the road, sparks is playing bowling on the wii with paul and i cant play guitar hero *pouty sulky face*
i'll have to read or ..... something ......
i brought him into the lounge to have a chat about it and i couldnt believe how upset this made him, i knew that he had been witness to it, but didnt know that is what he thought!
my poor boy!
i think he was a bit tired, he had my bezzy mate nics son jamie over for tea yesterday and they were in and out, playing in the garden, on the wii, in sparks room. then today, he had the day off and i took him and james, bonnies lil bro, over to the bournemouth oceanarium and then to harry ramsdens for lunch of pizza and chippies and icecream to follow. i had planned on moors valley, but weather was wet this morning and, knowing what it is like in the rain, i didnt wanna take james back looking like he had been bathed in mud!! so quick trip to the park on the way home and half hour on the wii before taking james up the school to meet his mum when she picked up bonnie. gods, that boy is loud!! but all in all, taking out two six year olds was, as expected, filled with much giggling, lying (i've got a pet wolf, yea sure you have dude!) and playing of nintendo dses! he ate all his lunch (even if he did lick out the ketchup lid (eeww eewww ewww) and got his pudding. sparks was made up he got to have some of his mates over for a change, it is usually river and edz mates that come over, altho, when cat and laura and eli came down 2 sat'ds ago, there was toby (6) jack (7) luca and fae (nearly 3) and rhiannon (9) so chase was the only one left out. that said, i had a chat with charlottes mum and she said, as long as charlotte wants to, charlotte could come over for dinner one evening, but she isnt eating much, so i am going to give it a go at getting her to cook with chase, and hopefully more inclined to eat something she had prepared and cooked! i can hope!!!
right beaubaleeze has been bathed, the girls have cleaned their room, river and the other children in the street are bring up rolls of turf from down the road, sparks is playing bowling on the wii with paul and i cant play guitar hero *pouty sulky face*
i'll have to read or ..... something ......
Wednesday 23 April 2008
you want more?
yeah ..... guitar hero!!!
after feeding the 5000, well close, 9 people that were here for dinner tonight, i played, yes more guitar hero!! just improving my scores on the quick play, kids are improving, i have to stay highest score, i must, just this once!!!
paul is playing, he has caught guitar hero fever, he wants the precious, but he cants have its, no precious for you are minnnnnneeeeeeee!!
hhmm yeah, so, had brief chat with friend of dear friend and it turns out my uncle frank that i went to see in feb, is ill again :o( he is in his 80's, so a worry, has been in hospital, but out now. i must try to get down to getting a card or something, gods i'm so crap at times :o(
after all extra children went to their own homes, auntie frances, grandads girlfriend phones to tell me she had her £20k cheque, mixed emotions again and i kinda had a bit of a vent off at her, which was unfair and she didnt deserve it, i wasnt having a go at her, just venting my frustration and sadness of the way my dad has acted towards me and to her too to some extent, she understands my place and she was (as always) sweet and understanding and everything she always is. i phoned her back later to apologise and thank her for listening, she didnt need to hear it, but the again she is very unhappy and likes to hear a voice in the house, so was happy that i rang back just for that, bless her. i must ring her more, she is the sterotypical old lady, got family but live away and do visit, and call, just not enough to fill that void. i must try to make more of an effort, gods i'm so crap at times :o(
sparks has day off tomorrow because of the NUT strikes (yay! more striking i say! send the whole fecking lot into chaos!) and so has bonnies lil bro, he and sparks have kinda gravitatied together when they have met, the unspoken 6 year old boy thing, i said to his mum that he was welcome over for the school time with sparks, thought we might go to moors valley as we have the car park pass still and for the next month, must use often!! i gotta get chase to invite a friend as sparks had jamie over for tea today and young nasty man had wonderboy over and edz had bonnie tuesday and she is planning on staying friday night and tyler will be here and river is off to an 11 year olds birthday party 2 doors down. shit! what a weekend! oh fuck and i've invited over my mate brina for dinner eeeeekkkkk must call her and cancel, gods i'm so crap at times :o(
ok, enough of being shit, going to play guitar hero and rock!!
after feeding the 5000, well close, 9 people that were here for dinner tonight, i played, yes more guitar hero!! just improving my scores on the quick play, kids are improving, i have to stay highest score, i must, just this once!!!
paul is playing, he has caught guitar hero fever, he wants the precious, but he cants have its, no precious for you are minnnnnneeeeeeee!!
hhmm yeah, so, had brief chat with friend of dear friend and it turns out my uncle frank that i went to see in feb, is ill again :o( he is in his 80's, so a worry, has been in hospital, but out now. i must try to get down to getting a card or something, gods i'm so crap at times :o(
after all extra children went to their own homes, auntie frances, grandads girlfriend phones to tell me she had her £20k cheque, mixed emotions again and i kinda had a bit of a vent off at her, which was unfair and she didnt deserve it, i wasnt having a go at her, just venting my frustration and sadness of the way my dad has acted towards me and to her too to some extent, she understands my place and she was (as always) sweet and understanding and everything she always is. i phoned her back later to apologise and thank her for listening, she didnt need to hear it, but the again she is very unhappy and likes to hear a voice in the house, so was happy that i rang back just for that, bless her. i must ring her more, she is the sterotypical old lady, got family but live away and do visit, and call, just not enough to fill that void. i must try to make more of an effort, gods i'm so crap at times :o(
sparks has day off tomorrow because of the NUT strikes (yay! more striking i say! send the whole fecking lot into chaos!) and so has bonnies lil bro, he and sparks have kinda gravitatied together when they have met, the unspoken 6 year old boy thing, i said to his mum that he was welcome over for the school time with sparks, thought we might go to moors valley as we have the car park pass still and for the next month, must use often!! i gotta get chase to invite a friend as sparks had jamie over for tea today and young nasty man had wonderboy over and edz had bonnie tuesday and she is planning on staying friday night and tyler will be here and river is off to an 11 year olds birthday party 2 doors down. shit! what a weekend! oh fuck and i've invited over my mate brina for dinner eeeeekkkkk must call her and cancel, gods i'm so crap at times :o(
ok, enough of being shit, going to play guitar hero and rock!!
catnip overload
during this mornings guitar heroics, beau fed an entire tube of catnip to the cats, can they overdose????
i really should do some cleaning as spent hour and 40mins on the phone with my chaotic friend, some washing and some guitar heroics (where i did rock i did!!).
my cats are gonna be sooo loved up the rest of the day!!
i really should do some cleaning as spent hour and 40mins on the phone with my chaotic friend, some washing and some guitar heroics (where i did rock i did!!).
my cats are gonna be sooo loved up the rest of the day!!
Tuesday 22 April 2008
more guitar hero!!
after a day of running around, school runs, driving, more school runs, i should be coming home to tidy my house, put away the mountain of washing and lovingly prepare the childrens tea, doing all the chores i couldnt do because i was working. i should, shouldnt i? but i'm not. instead i've been playing guitar hero and arse to the rest of it!!
Monday 21 April 2008
guitar legend!!!
thats what i am!! oh yes.
after playing guitar hero with jim the other evening, i had to get it and as paul let me down AGAIN on getting something sorted with inking, i phoned him on his way to getting inked himself (notice how he gets to do this stuff and have hours off from his day to do that for himself, but i cant go to the hairdressers alone???) and asked if i could buy guitar hero iii for the wii! de man getting inked, he say yes!! so i bought said heroic game and have been playing it ever since.
i say ever since, but that translates to couple of hours friday, 3 on sat'd, couple last night and half hour today. i have managed to get through the easy levels (where you just use 3 fingers) and now on medium (using 4) then there is hard where you grow another finger and expert and i havent a clue what you do there, i am too scared to find out, will wait til i at least get through medium ;o)
what else can i say, but i rock!!! paul and steve tried it and steve was shite (sorry steve, but even you said so! lol) and paul took about 10 goes to get through one song on easy, when i first tried, i had one practice and then finished the song!!! with a new high score!! see guitar legend i am, oh yes i am!! after i beat the easy level, i played a few songs on spike career band, so he had some more songs open for him :oD any excuse!! lol
even now, it is on, both edz and beau are asleep on the sofa and i should be cleaning the kitchen, but am fighting playing it, so blogging about it instead!!
edz is off school today with a crook neck, she wont straighten her head on her shoulders as it hurts and doesnt care that that is the only way to get the muscle to unspasm. i mean, wtf would i know right? *rolls eyes*
in other news, had several abusive phone calls yesterday from pauls mother, throwing insults, calling her son a groomer!! pmsl said he was grooming an old lady????? said it was all over the internet. some people are so full of shit!! rofl next she phoned and left another message pleading him to speak to her. why? she manages to get paul to not want to speak to her even more with every call.
took beau swimming for the first time yesterday and she loved it, after the initial, i want to get out, dont let me go. she sat in the ring and just held my finger whilst she floated and splashed and giggled :o)
gotta go clean my kitchen, gotta be at the school in half hour to get edz out of doing sats as i dont believe in them ;o) i bet they love me!!!
amor mundi
after playing guitar hero with jim the other evening, i had to get it and as paul let me down AGAIN on getting something sorted with inking, i phoned him on his way to getting inked himself (notice how he gets to do this stuff and have hours off from his day to do that for himself, but i cant go to the hairdressers alone???) and asked if i could buy guitar hero iii for the wii! de man getting inked, he say yes!! so i bought said heroic game and have been playing it ever since.
i say ever since, but that translates to couple of hours friday, 3 on sat'd, couple last night and half hour today. i have managed to get through the easy levels (where you just use 3 fingers) and now on medium (using 4) then there is hard where you grow another finger and expert and i havent a clue what you do there, i am too scared to find out, will wait til i at least get through medium ;o)
what else can i say, but i rock!!! paul and steve tried it and steve was shite (sorry steve, but even you said so! lol) and paul took about 10 goes to get through one song on easy, when i first tried, i had one practice and then finished the song!!! with a new high score!! see guitar legend i am, oh yes i am!! after i beat the easy level, i played a few songs on spike career band, so he had some more songs open for him :oD any excuse!! lol
even now, it is on, both edz and beau are asleep on the sofa and i should be cleaning the kitchen, but am fighting playing it, so blogging about it instead!!
edz is off school today with a crook neck, she wont straighten her head on her shoulders as it hurts and doesnt care that that is the only way to get the muscle to unspasm. i mean, wtf would i know right? *rolls eyes*
in other news, had several abusive phone calls yesterday from pauls mother, throwing insults, calling her son a groomer!! pmsl said he was grooming an old lady????? said it was all over the internet. some people are so full of shit!! rofl next she phoned and left another message pleading him to speak to her. why? she manages to get paul to not want to speak to her even more with every call.
took beau swimming for the first time yesterday and she loved it, after the initial, i want to get out, dont let me go. she sat in the ring and just held my finger whilst she floated and splashed and giggled :o)
gotta go clean my kitchen, gotta be at the school in half hour to get edz out of doing sats as i dont believe in them ;o) i bet they love me!!!
amor mundi
Friday 18 April 2008
What color is your soul painted?
| What color is your soul painted? Red Your soul is painted the color red, which embodies the characteristics of love, strength, physical energy, sex, passion, courage, protection, excitement, speed, leadership, power, danger, and respect. Red is the color of the element Fire, and is associated with blood, life and death, birth, volcanoes, and intense emotions.
|
 Quizzes and Personality Tests |
Wednesday 16 April 2008
6 pence!!
i have just recieved my order from my salt supplier. they upped their min order for free delivery to £175 and i placed an order for £181.89 to get me over the min order and get free delivery and one item costing £6.95 was out of stock which brought me down to £174.94 and they fecking charged me delivery!! the fecking cheek!! ffs! 6 pence, and they could have called me, i would have ordered something else, i was debating on whether to have something else anyways and chose this one thing instead. and wouldnt ya know it, when i ring them at 5.28pm, they have already switched on the answer phone so i cant go raging down the phone at them tonight bitching about it! ffs!! 6 fecking pence!!
Tuesday 15 April 2008
been busy!
after yesterdays none starter of a day, today was just the opposite!
flame texted me this morning before school asking if i was around for coffee, i was and this gave me the perfect excuse NOT to juice and sit around drinking coffee and nattering with my mate, and that we did! beau and hellboy were fighting a bit which was funny, i just left them to it, i've been a mother far too long to worry about a couple of 2 year olds fighting! lol
after she left (and a bit whilst she was here too) i cleaned and tidied and beautified my house a little in expectation of toni and her new blokey, john, who were popping in for a bite to eat and a chat. i went out to asda to pick up a few bits and saw someone i went to school with! quick chat with her and shot up to pauls unit as i had an unrepressable urge to kiss him, he was busy ..... by the time he was free again it had pretty much worn off!!
toni and john turned up just minutes after i returned, possitivly perfect timing!! they entertained beau as i cooked and flapped in the kitchen and then when the school rang to say that river had hurt himself (AGAIN!) and possibly broken his elbow (wtf was he doing???) but once river was home and had some pasta salad and garlic bread, he was right as rain, keeping his arm in a sling for the attention it got him.
john is very nice, he complimented my house, cooking, children and the lovely planter that i had buddha sitting in. it is also surrounded by 2 foot of nearly ready compost and the children had put a fake arm and a thumb in, he asked who they belonged to, to which i replied "toni's last boyfriend!" i'm glad he saw the funny side of it, coz i was pmsl!
when they were ready to go, river turned to me and said "i like him, can we not put him in the compost???" and mucho laughing followed that too :o) i think he liked us and us him :o)
after school, bonnie came over for dinner, i had some messages to run in town, so went off to poole with 6 children in tow, i musta been mad! HA! i AM mad!! i did some banking, changed some details and got a swimming cozzy for beaubaleeze! a fifi and the flowertots one and she lurves it. when i dropped bonnie off, had a chat with her mother about our mutual friend, and then went over to see steve to drop off his beer and see what info i could pump (not much).
sat with steve watching him play grand theft auto *yawn* and then there was a knock and steve's lil bro JP said there was someone there to see me, was ben that i havent seen, and only chatted to on facebook and texts this last 6 months or so, for 15 years +. he was 12 the last time i saw him and he certainly isnt now! now he is 6 foot odd, riding the sexiest of bikes, bit like this one
he only stopped coz he saw my lil type r honda parked up outside their house. was buzzing to see him and i hope to see him again soon, wont be so weird now that we have actually managed to bump into each other!! lol
after he left and jp had finished eating, we went in to his room and played guitar hero, i fought it as i make such a cock out of myself, but in the end, i played the killers and the stones and guess what??????? i ROCK!! i have to get one of these for the wii!! i so so so sooooooo do!! lol
right bed now, coz i need to sleep and rest for maybe more guitar hero tomorrow ;o)
flame texted me this morning before school asking if i was around for coffee, i was and this gave me the perfect excuse NOT to juice and sit around drinking coffee and nattering with my mate, and that we did! beau and hellboy were fighting a bit which was funny, i just left them to it, i've been a mother far too long to worry about a couple of 2 year olds fighting! lol
after she left (and a bit whilst she was here too) i cleaned and tidied and beautified my house a little in expectation of toni and her new blokey, john, who were popping in for a bite to eat and a chat. i went out to asda to pick up a few bits and saw someone i went to school with! quick chat with her and shot up to pauls unit as i had an unrepressable urge to kiss him, he was busy ..... by the time he was free again it had pretty much worn off!!
toni and john turned up just minutes after i returned, possitivly perfect timing!! they entertained beau as i cooked and flapped in the kitchen and then when the school rang to say that river had hurt himself (AGAIN!) and possibly broken his elbow (wtf was he doing???) but once river was home and had some pasta salad and garlic bread, he was right as rain, keeping his arm in a sling for the attention it got him.
john is very nice, he complimented my house, cooking, children and the lovely planter that i had buddha sitting in. it is also surrounded by 2 foot of nearly ready compost and the children had put a fake arm and a thumb in, he asked who they belonged to, to which i replied "toni's last boyfriend!" i'm glad he saw the funny side of it, coz i was pmsl!
when they were ready to go, river turned to me and said "i like him, can we not put him in the compost???" and mucho laughing followed that too :o) i think he liked us and us him :o)
after school, bonnie came over for dinner, i had some messages to run in town, so went off to poole with 6 children in tow, i musta been mad! HA! i AM mad!! i did some banking, changed some details and got a swimming cozzy for beaubaleeze! a fifi and the flowertots one and she lurves it. when i dropped bonnie off, had a chat with her mother about our mutual friend, and then went over to see steve to drop off his beer and see what info i could pump (not much).
sat with steve watching him play grand theft auto *yawn* and then there was a knock and steve's lil bro JP said there was someone there to see me, was ben that i havent seen, and only chatted to on facebook and texts this last 6 months or so, for 15 years +. he was 12 the last time i saw him and he certainly isnt now! now he is 6 foot odd, riding the sexiest of bikes, bit like this one
he only stopped coz he saw my lil type r honda parked up outside their house. was buzzing to see him and i hope to see him again soon, wont be so weird now that we have actually managed to bump into each other!! lol
after he left and jp had finished eating, we went in to his room and played guitar hero, i fought it as i make such a cock out of myself, but in the end, i played the killers and the stones and guess what??????? i ROCK!! i have to get one of these for the wii!! i so so so sooooooo do!! lol
right bed now, coz i need to sleep and rest for maybe more guitar hero tomorrow ;o)
Monday 14 April 2008
edens outfit
she did ALL the machine sewing, some of the cutting, pinning and tacking too :o) and i made the apron. there are no buttons and these are machine made and they didnt have the means in the 16th century, so is laced at the front and over the shoulders. i also helped her shrink it so that the size 10 pattern fit her aged 9 frame and we can let it out again should she need it as she grows!
see i thought of everything! lol
the day that never happened
i was sposed to do loads today and i feel like i've done sweet FA!
paul had steve working with him today and they were both up when i got up and downstairs around 8. as soon as they left, the kids just stopped, stopped eating, getting ready for school and it ended up that i got to school at ten to eight, which is late for us. i popped into the office to see about nursery place for beau and got an application form and orders to come back after work of the week. so home goes beau and me, i do bit of tidying, wipe counters and table in the kitchen and it is time for us to go back up for edz 2nd work of the week for her tudor costume (photos to follow) and we got lots of waves from sweet christine, wonderboy and even our own young nasty man caught sight of us ;o) everyone was suitably impressed and after we said goodbye we went down to the other building for a look around the nursery and reception and gave in our form. neadless to say, she didnt want to leave all the lovely toys.
upon our return she decided she was making herself lunch, bread and grapes. mmmmmm nice! she ate it all, so i wont complain ;o) whilst i prepared the contestants of tonights stew, she fell to sleep on the sofa and had a hell of a job waking her to get her up there in time to pick the guys up, then it was a muck about in the playground, as one comes out another runs off. i'm pissed off about it, i was ready to leave them behind, maybe i should!
is monday, so swimming night and only after we have driven the 20 mins to the swimming pool do i find that the shampoo in the girls bag had leaked, not that i need much encouragment to cancel a day, this was it for me! so home we went.
since i have been looking at how to do hairstyles on videojug. there was something important i was sposed to be looking up, but cant remember what it is.
going to read the rest of new moon and with a little luck, fall asleep ;o)
paul had steve working with him today and they were both up when i got up and downstairs around 8. as soon as they left, the kids just stopped, stopped eating, getting ready for school and it ended up that i got to school at ten to eight, which is late for us. i popped into the office to see about nursery place for beau and got an application form and orders to come back after work of the week. so home goes beau and me, i do bit of tidying, wipe counters and table in the kitchen and it is time for us to go back up for edz 2nd work of the week for her tudor costume (photos to follow) and we got lots of waves from sweet christine, wonderboy and even our own young nasty man caught sight of us ;o) everyone was suitably impressed and after we said goodbye we went down to the other building for a look around the nursery and reception and gave in our form. neadless to say, she didnt want to leave all the lovely toys.
upon our return she decided she was making herself lunch, bread and grapes. mmmmmm nice! she ate it all, so i wont complain ;o) whilst i prepared the contestants of tonights stew, she fell to sleep on the sofa and had a hell of a job waking her to get her up there in time to pick the guys up, then it was a muck about in the playground, as one comes out another runs off. i'm pissed off about it, i was ready to leave them behind, maybe i should!
is monday, so swimming night and only after we have driven the 20 mins to the swimming pool do i find that the shampoo in the girls bag had leaked, not that i need much encouragment to cancel a day, this was it for me! so home we went.
since i have been looking at how to do hairstyles on videojug. there was something important i was sposed to be looking up, but cant remember what it is.
going to read the rest of new moon and with a little luck, fall asleep ;o)
Sunday 13 April 2008
rambling kinda bolloxy thing
so i have this shit family thing that has been occupying my mind for years. tried hard to live with it - went mad, forget it - kept coming back and biting me on the arse, ignoring it - kept getting some kind of reminder, getting over it - just when i think i have and it all comes back again, dealing with it - i get the blame.
what can i do?
none of it can be classed as my fault, i didnt make my mother a bad parent or failed wife. anymore than it was my fault my father failed me as my parent and cannot bring himself to care about me. he has his new family and i am not part of it. i am (in his eyes) unworthy of any time or energy and certainly not money. my grandfather wanted me to have some of his furniture, but my father doesnt see why i should have any. wtf?? he must really hate me, if my sisters wanted anything from that house, he wouldnt deny them, so why me? because i am nothing to him but a reminder of what a failure he was as a father. my siblings on my fathers side have benifited from a good educationg, a supportive family, an opportunity to try and find what they can do, i never did so much as a swimming lesson. and he asks why i should have more than them?
i see children when i am out and about with their grandparents and i feel like it is my fault that my children dont have that. i know i shouldnt, but my parents are just shit, never remembered even one of my kids birthdays, let alone bother with mine.
pauls family are just as bad. his mother is so anally retained it makes me look possitively prolapsed! lmao she lies, she lives in this bubble that everything that goes wrong is someone elses fault, and that has been something that paul has finally realised after she attacked one of my children and threw 2 of them out of her house for giggling. she has never had time for any of my kids, pauls other son has always been the b all and end all, just as her daughters children are. after all, she had to keep june sweet incase of tantrums and pauls ex was a teenage mum and they need all the help they can get.
i have fought against all this for years and i'm bored of it now, it has taken all my energy to keep myself going and i'm tired of it. i wish my kids could have what i had with my paternal grandparents, a safe knowledge that their grandparents were there for them, instead they are scared of them, if they feel anything at all.
now pauls mother sends him texts accusing him of being cruel and saying she didnt think he had it in him and of dragging this out as he hasnt spoken to her since christmas (when she attacked my daughter). what is he to say? she just lies, again. makes excuses, again and blames others. it came to light in january that she had been to pauls ex to tell her how i should be hospitalised because of my depression when she has never ever done one thing to help me out, never taken the kids, offered to help in any way, even just phoned me to see how i am. infact when i have been very depressed, she has made a notable point of not getting in contact. she told her that i would turn up on her daughters doorstep (17 miles away) at meal times and trash the house expecting to me fed. 100% lies.
now who is cruel?
if everyone around me treats me like shit, doesnt that follow that i am?
i dont accept that. so i cut them out and just feel like i am missing something. people need their family, i have asked, begged, changed and anything else i can think of, to be included. but what ever i am is never good enough or worthy.
i failed.
i was thinking about my grandad last night, he would send over clothes parcels to ireland for years, always take clothes over to people there. my father had nothing good to say about it, but people thanked my grandad for it, they wanted them, often needed them. my grandmother found a way of helping people with little cost to herself and did it, religiously, everytime she went home, everytime she got a parcel together. her cousin had a load of kids (12 i think) and once thier washing caught fire, the children lost almost everything and that morning a package arrived and kitted out everyone! they still remember it, 40 odd years later. i wonder if people will remember my father with such care?
it hurts me that i am without my closest family. that my father, mother and siblings dont see me as i am, dispite me being an open and honest person. it hurts me that my husbands family have to lie to make excuses for the way they treat him and me and our children. it hurts that this doesnt seem to want to heal.
what can i do?
none of it can be classed as my fault, i didnt make my mother a bad parent or failed wife. anymore than it was my fault my father failed me as my parent and cannot bring himself to care about me. he has his new family and i am not part of it. i am (in his eyes) unworthy of any time or energy and certainly not money. my grandfather wanted me to have some of his furniture, but my father doesnt see why i should have any. wtf?? he must really hate me, if my sisters wanted anything from that house, he wouldnt deny them, so why me? because i am nothing to him but a reminder of what a failure he was as a father. my siblings on my fathers side have benifited from a good educationg, a supportive family, an opportunity to try and find what they can do, i never did so much as a swimming lesson. and he asks why i should have more than them?
i see children when i am out and about with their grandparents and i feel like it is my fault that my children dont have that. i know i shouldnt, but my parents are just shit, never remembered even one of my kids birthdays, let alone bother with mine.
pauls family are just as bad. his mother is so anally retained it makes me look possitively prolapsed! lmao she lies, she lives in this bubble that everything that goes wrong is someone elses fault, and that has been something that paul has finally realised after she attacked one of my children and threw 2 of them out of her house for giggling. she has never had time for any of my kids, pauls other son has always been the b all and end all, just as her daughters children are. after all, she had to keep june sweet incase of tantrums and pauls ex was a teenage mum and they need all the help they can get.
i have fought against all this for years and i'm bored of it now, it has taken all my energy to keep myself going and i'm tired of it. i wish my kids could have what i had with my paternal grandparents, a safe knowledge that their grandparents were there for them, instead they are scared of them, if they feel anything at all.
now pauls mother sends him texts accusing him of being cruel and saying she didnt think he had it in him and of dragging this out as he hasnt spoken to her since christmas (when she attacked my daughter). what is he to say? she just lies, again. makes excuses, again and blames others. it came to light in january that she had been to pauls ex to tell her how i should be hospitalised because of my depression when she has never ever done one thing to help me out, never taken the kids, offered to help in any way, even just phoned me to see how i am. infact when i have been very depressed, she has made a notable point of not getting in contact. she told her that i would turn up on her daughters doorstep (17 miles away) at meal times and trash the house expecting to me fed. 100% lies.
now who is cruel?
if everyone around me treats me like shit, doesnt that follow that i am?
i dont accept that. so i cut them out and just feel like i am missing something. people need their family, i have asked, begged, changed and anything else i can think of, to be included. but what ever i am is never good enough or worthy.
i failed.
i was thinking about my grandad last night, he would send over clothes parcels to ireland for years, always take clothes over to people there. my father had nothing good to say about it, but people thanked my grandad for it, they wanted them, often needed them. my grandmother found a way of helping people with little cost to herself and did it, religiously, everytime she went home, everytime she got a parcel together. her cousin had a load of kids (12 i think) and once thier washing caught fire, the children lost almost everything and that morning a package arrived and kitted out everyone! they still remember it, 40 odd years later. i wonder if people will remember my father with such care?
it hurts me that i am without my closest family. that my father, mother and siblings dont see me as i am, dispite me being an open and honest person. it hurts me that my husbands family have to lie to make excuses for the way they treat him and me and our children. it hurts that this doesnt seem to want to heal.
Wednesday 9 April 2008
this just a tribute
beaus fav song of the moment, she is working on singing it all!
ssooo cute, she even does the 2 and 1 make 3 bit, get confused and then manage it with great delight!
ssooo cute, she even does the 2 and 1 make 3 bit, get confused and then manage it with great delight!
Monday 7 April 2008
cor blimey goven'r
the slow cooker keeps things hot and no mistake!!
made sausage casserole out of the chicken stock made from the roast chooks yesterday and aberdeen angus beef sausages, mushrooms, cauli, brokolee and green lentils, it was on the keep warm feature by the time we got back from swimming and mine is still too hot to eat and has just burnt my lips and tounge!! ouch!! hate it when i do that.
swimming was much easier now their classes are all at the same time, means i'm not trying to save beau from falling in for an hour, just half and hour!! she insisted i go out and buy her and harvey some crisps! she told me "you should get some for him and me and they we wills be good and not get wet" so that was me told and she and i toodled off to the vending machine that was far too hard for my small girl brian to work out, put in money and open a door that was severely reluctant to open. managed it in the end and bought myself some salt and vinegar snack'o'jacks eeeww eewww ewww!! they are just wrong!
my lovely mate brina is coming over for dinner on friday. she and i met at swimming, her daughter was in the same class as my girlies when they first started. she was heavily preg then and the first week she brought her wee man i offered to hold him whist she wrestled with getting her daughter dressed. he was only 9 days old or something, very very new anyways :o) he always gives me cuddles at swimming, makes me feel so loved! lol
paul found a mouse head at the bottom of the stairs this morning, shouting at me that he couldnt do something as he left as he had put the mouse head in the bin when i find it in the bloody downstairs loo as it hadnt flushed!! why why why???? why would you put a fecking mouse head in the loo??? could scare the weeuns away from using that loo for life! espeshly beau! she is not even 3! the gobshite!
feeling quite proud that got my mountain of washing sorted, dinner made and house fairly tidy and had coffee and biscuits with flame and did swimming, got the flyers for the window cleaning and took flameboys coat over as well as some reading, just got the sewing of the headdress for edz costume tomorrow to do and the button holes, another load of washing and get a car from westovers ...... then i might just fall asleep ;o)
made sausage casserole out of the chicken stock made from the roast chooks yesterday and aberdeen angus beef sausages, mushrooms, cauli, brokolee and green lentils, it was on the keep warm feature by the time we got back from swimming and mine is still too hot to eat and has just burnt my lips and tounge!! ouch!! hate it when i do that.
swimming was much easier now their classes are all at the same time, means i'm not trying to save beau from falling in for an hour, just half and hour!! she insisted i go out and buy her and harvey some crisps! she told me "you should get some for him and me and they we wills be good and not get wet" so that was me told and she and i toodled off to the vending machine that was far too hard for my small girl brian to work out, put in money and open a door that was severely reluctant to open. managed it in the end and bought myself some salt and vinegar snack'o'jacks eeeww eewww ewww!! they are just wrong!
my lovely mate brina is coming over for dinner on friday. she and i met at swimming, her daughter was in the same class as my girlies when they first started. she was heavily preg then and the first week she brought her wee man i offered to hold him whist she wrestled with getting her daughter dressed. he was only 9 days old or something, very very new anyways :o) he always gives me cuddles at swimming, makes me feel so loved! lol
paul found a mouse head at the bottom of the stairs this morning, shouting at me that he couldnt do something as he left as he had put the mouse head in the bin when i find it in the bloody downstairs loo as it hadnt flushed!! why why why???? why would you put a fecking mouse head in the loo??? could scare the weeuns away from using that loo for life! espeshly beau! she is not even 3! the gobshite!
feeling quite proud that got my mountain of washing sorted, dinner made and house fairly tidy and had coffee and biscuits with flame and did swimming, got the flyers for the window cleaning and took flameboys coat over as well as some reading, just got the sewing of the headdress for edz costume tomorrow to do and the button holes, another load of washing and get a car from westovers ...... then i might just fall asleep ;o)
Sunday 6 April 2008
tagged by flame - 4 things
4 Jobs:
dental surgery assistant - i knows about teeth i do
pizza shop manager - and got away with only one burn!
kebab shop manager - note to anyone thinking of working in a kebab shop, cover sensitive areas of skin, fat burns on ya belly hurt!
delivery driver - the job i did the best ;o)
4 Favourite Movies:
dr zhivago
donnie darko
lotr trilagy (as they are one film really)
labyrinth
4 Places I've been:
ireland
france
malaysia
spain
4 Places I've Lived:
poole
bournemouth
christchurch
gravesend
4 Favourite TV Shows:
grand designs
QI
star trek DS 9
star trek voyager (only coz i havent seen it as often as next gen and OS)
4 Favourite Radio Shows:
terry wogan
erm thats about all the radio i listen too when not skipping between radio 3 and classic fm
4 Favourite Foods
curry
vanilla icecream
rasberries
choclit
4 Places I'd Rather Be:
Kuala Lumpur
west of Ireland
lisa g's kitchen table
starbucks with book and coffee
tagging willow the wisp :o)
dental surgery assistant - i knows about teeth i do
pizza shop manager - and got away with only one burn!
kebab shop manager - note to anyone thinking of working in a kebab shop, cover sensitive areas of skin, fat burns on ya belly hurt!
delivery driver - the job i did the best ;o)
4 Favourite Movies:
dr zhivago
donnie darko
lotr trilagy (as they are one film really)
labyrinth
4 Places I've been:
ireland
france
malaysia
spain
4 Places I've Lived:
poole
bournemouth
christchurch
gravesend
4 Favourite TV Shows:
grand designs
QI
star trek DS 9
star trek voyager (only coz i havent seen it as often as next gen and OS)
4 Favourite Radio Shows:
terry wogan
erm thats about all the radio i listen too when not skipping between radio 3 and classic fm
4 Favourite Foods
curry
vanilla icecream
rasberries
choclit
4 Places I'd Rather Be:
Kuala Lumpur
west of Ireland
lisa g's kitchen table
starbucks with book and coffee
tagging willow the wisp :o)
Saturday 5 April 2008
wonderboy and young nasty man
river now has a new bestest mate, they were arch rivals over the love of the sweet christine, but wonderboy turned up yesterday with his scateboard and now they are the bestest of mateses. oh yes they are!! wonderboy got me to speak with his stepfather and then tells me his stepfathers full name, hhhmm thinks me, i went to school with someone called that, how old is he? oh the same age as me, what school? the same school as me!! so wonderboy comes out to heavy horse centre with us and great fun was had by all.
upon our return home, i got to cooking a gorg chicken and butternut squash curry and dhal, and the remains was put into a tub for sweet stephen and i took wonderboy and young nasty man over to get wonderboys stuff and ended up talking to his mum and stepdad for 2 hours!!! was nice, was fun and didnt get to take steve over his food!! eeeekkk will have to call him and apologise, hope he isnt too pissed off with me ;o)
today, neither of them got much sleep, so were fairly quiet after an eager morning of scateboarding in the garden and street. when paul got back, they had a quick lunch and we were off to auntie frances in weymouth, that bored the knickers of us all.
they are now off to wonderboys for the night and long walk tomorrow!
upon our return home, i got to cooking a gorg chicken and butternut squash curry and dhal, and the remains was put into a tub for sweet stephen and i took wonderboy and young nasty man over to get wonderboys stuff and ended up talking to his mum and stepdad for 2 hours!!! was nice, was fun and didnt get to take steve over his food!! eeeekkk will have to call him and apologise, hope he isnt too pissed off with me ;o)
today, neither of them got much sleep, so were fairly quiet after an eager morning of scateboarding in the garden and street. when paul got back, they had a quick lunch and we were off to auntie frances in weymouth, that bored the knickers of us all.
they are now off to wonderboys for the night and long walk tomorrow!
Wednesday 2 April 2008
heavy horse centre
i want to go there today :o)
gonna set kids to work on chores, leaving me the hard stuff and prepare some sandwiches and then get orf to verwood for a day of horses and donkeys and llamas and goats and erm chickens!! oh rabbits too!!
i hope they do good coffee!
still havent put the letter from the endoscopy ward into the gp, so do that on the way (kinda coz it is opposite direction!) stop at the cake shop for some supplies of something yummy and be off to sunny (?) verwood!!
gonna go see the lovely adam, my fav horse out there :o)
amor mundi
gonna set kids to work on chores, leaving me the hard stuff and prepare some sandwiches and then get orf to verwood for a day of horses and donkeys and llamas and goats and erm chickens!! oh rabbits too!!
i hope they do good coffee!
still havent put the letter from the endoscopy ward into the gp, so do that on the way (kinda coz it is opposite direction!) stop at the cake shop for some supplies of something yummy and be off to sunny (?) verwood!!
gonna go see the lovely adam, my fav horse out there :o)
amor mundi
Tuesday 1 April 2008
sewing hell
for her tudor home learning project (the irony is still biting me) eden is doing a tudor dress. mostly for the learning of the sewing machine stuff. anything else she is going to loose i think. she has really enjoyed doing the machine stuff, the pinning and tacking have driven her mad with tedium, and me having to listen to her!
today we went back to the fabric shop and found some material for the main dress that didnt come to over £30!! but it doesnt exactly go with the underskirt and top, but never mind, it is more about her learning something that it contrasting!
sparks stayed over at jay's last night and had a ball! i havent seen him yet today as he is still there, nic will drop him home later when she is on her travels i spec, but it is so quiet here without him, even if the others make up for him in noise, it is out of step, definatly something missing!! he has never had a sleep over on his own before, at least one of the others has gone with him. my lil fella is turning into a man!
christine has turned up with another of her and rivers school friends, edz is now bugging me to ring bonnie, but i know she isnt home today, her mother is going for a d&c. bonnie was over for sunday afternoon and had dinner with us. i thought it only fair to explain to her mother that i knew her dad from a long time ago. she knew who i was instantly and starting a conversation of isnt richard a complete waste of space lol she told me a few things that i didnt need to know, but glad i do and had i known them a year ago i'm not sure how i would have handled things. i know i wouldnt have been able to speak to him and probably still carried around all that pain.
long gone, ancient history.
when she came to pick bonnie up, she said how spun out she was, but like i said, i wasnt going to take her daughter over to mine for her to find out some other way that i knew bonnies dad. she asked me what my husband was like, i told her he was the opposite of hers, she said "tall dark hansome and honest?" thats the one!! lol
have to get on with the cutting and pinning and sewing of this dress .....
i really really dont want to!!
can you tell??
i might go prepare the chickens for tonights dinner, roast chicken and rice.
could always do some miles on the strider, but then i'd need to shower!
hhhmmmm maybe i should mop floors and continue to procrastinate!
or not
amor mundi
today we went back to the fabric shop and found some material for the main dress that didnt come to over £30!! but it doesnt exactly go with the underskirt and top, but never mind, it is more about her learning something that it contrasting!
sparks stayed over at jay's last night and had a ball! i havent seen him yet today as he is still there, nic will drop him home later when she is on her travels i spec, but it is so quiet here without him, even if the others make up for him in noise, it is out of step, definatly something missing!! he has never had a sleep over on his own before, at least one of the others has gone with him. my lil fella is turning into a man!
christine has turned up with another of her and rivers school friends, edz is now bugging me to ring bonnie, but i know she isnt home today, her mother is going for a d&c. bonnie was over for sunday afternoon and had dinner with us. i thought it only fair to explain to her mother that i knew her dad from a long time ago. she knew who i was instantly and starting a conversation of isnt richard a complete waste of space lol she told me a few things that i didnt need to know, but glad i do and had i known them a year ago i'm not sure how i would have handled things. i know i wouldnt have been able to speak to him and probably still carried around all that pain.
long gone, ancient history.
when she came to pick bonnie up, she said how spun out she was, but like i said, i wasnt going to take her daughter over to mine for her to find out some other way that i knew bonnies dad. she asked me what my husband was like, i told her he was the opposite of hers, she said "tall dark hansome and honest?" thats the one!! lol
have to get on with the cutting and pinning and sewing of this dress .....
i really really dont want to!!
can you tell??
i might go prepare the chickens for tonights dinner, roast chicken and rice.
could always do some miles on the strider, but then i'd need to shower!
hhhmmmm maybe i should mop floors and continue to procrastinate!
or not
amor mundi
Saturday 29 March 2008
the tale of the new bag
i have a new bag and i love it!!
the paths of the bag and i began to wend our ways towards each other last week when i got an email from my dear friend Bea suggesting that we meet up soon, so today was the date we set and today we did meet :o)
i havent seen Bea for about 18 months and i have missed her so! we drank coffee, talked lots, laughed at the idiocy of the world and people in it. we talked about her horses, her soon to be horse and going riding!! yay!! going riding! i havent been riding in soooo long! very exciting stuff that i have time for now i have the kids in school ;o) which we also talked about at length and once more, on the same page.
i had a spinning hook for her that was got for crimbly before last gift!! finally it made it to her and she liked (i hope?? you did didnt you bea??) and she gave me the most gorg felted bag!! oh lordy!! this bag is gorg! its moss coloured, greens and browns and beige, looks wonderful with my green boots, i've may have mentioned how much i love it, but i really do! i must photograph it!! lol we had a wander around hobbycraft for a bit, i picked up some little cross stitch kits for the girls and some free leaflets and she got some wee flowers for knitting and it was back to haskins for more coffee.
it is now a blustery cold wet evening and paul has the circus tickets booked for 7.30! eeekkk i've drunk so much coffee today, i hope my bladder can take it! lol
whilst i was out, the girls baked, sparks and paul moved sparks room around and beau slept, only to wake as i walked in the door and scream at length on my lap, i guess tis what i get for taking 4 hours out without my flickies.new bag is to be packed up with supplies for the circus now.
amor mundi
the paths of the bag and i began to wend our ways towards each other last week when i got an email from my dear friend Bea suggesting that we meet up soon, so today was the date we set and today we did meet :o)
i havent seen Bea for about 18 months and i have missed her so! we drank coffee, talked lots, laughed at the idiocy of the world and people in it. we talked about her horses, her soon to be horse and going riding!! yay!! going riding! i havent been riding in soooo long! very exciting stuff that i have time for now i have the kids in school ;o) which we also talked about at length and once more, on the same page.
i had a spinning hook for her that was got for crimbly before last gift!! finally it made it to her and she liked (i hope?? you did didnt you bea??) and she gave me the most gorg felted bag!! oh lordy!! this bag is gorg! its moss coloured, greens and browns and beige, looks wonderful with my green boots, i've may have mentioned how much i love it, but i really do! i must photograph it!! lol we had a wander around hobbycraft for a bit, i picked up some little cross stitch kits for the girls and some free leaflets and she got some wee flowers for knitting and it was back to haskins for more coffee.
it is now a blustery cold wet evening and paul has the circus tickets booked for 7.30! eeekkk i've drunk so much coffee today, i hope my bladder can take it! lol
whilst i was out, the girls baked, sparks and paul moved sparks room around and beau slept, only to wake as i walked in the door and scream at length on my lap, i guess tis what i get for taking 4 hours out without my flickies.new bag is to be packed up with supplies for the circus now.
amor mundi
Friday 28 March 2008
i am a
You Are a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich |
 You life your life in a free form, artistic style. You are incredibly creative and at times, quite messy. Deep down, you are a kid at heart. And you aren't afraid to express it. Your best friend: The Grilled Cheese Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Club Sandwich |
Thursday 27 March 2008
today stuff
got up mega early and did 3 miles on the exercise strider thang! yay! now it works, i have no excuses!! i must use it, i must shift this weight, hopefully will make this bloody hiatus hernia easier and i really wanna get into a size 12!!
some washing, some housework, used the washing line, only to have some idiot burning wood in their fireplace! ffs! not only does it make loads of smoke in the fireplace, it also fills gardens with horrid smelly smoke too! is it me, or are most people fecking idiots, ok dont answer that ;o)
went to therapy and after a half session, she decided that i was through with therapy. now that is fine, i know that most of what i needed was to realise that this wasnt me, that i am not to blame for my failure parents and bullshitter grandfather. it can hurt and i can get over it. the rest was a waste of her time and mine. she also said it is nice to laugh during a session, she accused me once of using humour to stear from what the questions were and wasting my time with chitchat. i honestly dont think she got me that well and liked me less. probly just my paranoia, who cares?? she got her money, i got better! she thought i should really think about using my humour/talents (which she still couldnt actually tell me what they were) to achieve something, get a job, a bit of a life etc. i havent the time, a job would have to earn me a lot of money to be finanically viable with child care, school runs, house duties to be covered as well as everything else. and quite honestly, if i had a job i'd need a feck of a lot of energy to make time for my kids too! which i think she got. i've done the CBT and the schema therapy, bought the books, now just need the tshirt! lol
anyways, going back in june for a follow up, see what progress i've made and all that.
going to do some more on my strider in a mo, whilst the kids tea (baked salmon, boiled pots and mixed veg) is cooking.
christine is here, so havent seen hide nor hair of river or beau since she arrived. i wonder if she has eaten them ......
some washing, some housework, used the washing line, only to have some idiot burning wood in their fireplace! ffs! not only does it make loads of smoke in the fireplace, it also fills gardens with horrid smelly smoke too! is it me, or are most people fecking idiots, ok dont answer that ;o)
went to therapy and after a half session, she decided that i was through with therapy. now that is fine, i know that most of what i needed was to realise that this wasnt me, that i am not to blame for my failure parents and bullshitter grandfather. it can hurt and i can get over it. the rest was a waste of her time and mine. she also said it is nice to laugh during a session, she accused me once of using humour to stear from what the questions were and wasting my time with chitchat. i honestly dont think she got me that well and liked me less. probly just my paranoia, who cares?? she got her money, i got better! she thought i should really think about using my humour/talents (which she still couldnt actually tell me what they were) to achieve something, get a job, a bit of a life etc. i havent the time, a job would have to earn me a lot of money to be finanically viable with child care, school runs, house duties to be covered as well as everything else. and quite honestly, if i had a job i'd need a feck of a lot of energy to make time for my kids too! which i think she got. i've done the CBT and the schema therapy, bought the books, now just need the tshirt! lol
anyways, going back in june for a follow up, see what progress i've made and all that.
going to do some more on my strider in a mo, whilst the kids tea (baked salmon, boiled pots and mixed veg) is cooking.
christine is here, so havent seen hide nor hair of river or beau since she arrived. i wonder if she has eaten them ......
Tuesday 25 March 2008
there and back again
no, this isnt a hobbits tale!!
went to the hospital for 9am, took me my books, my ipod, a note book. paul and the kids left as i went to be booked in.
i was offered sedation, but in the end went without as i really just wanted to get out of there and sedation would have meant another hour/hour and half at least before i could go. i had the throat spray which was (as all fake banana flavoured things are) absolutly vile! evily vile! the surgen explained what was what and what she was going to do. then a HUGE (approx 5 foot long!) tube was connected to the machine beside me and a nurse talked me through being relaxed and put a thing in to keep my mouth open. this was good as i kept biting on it. the throat spray stuff didnt really do a lot, and i did gag and retch lots, but it was all over within about 4 mins with the lovely nurse telling me how well i was doing, to relax, breathe, calm, the whole time. i could feel it in my mouth, throat, oesophagus, stomach. not plesant, but better than a stomach pump!
on the way out, she spotted the problem, hiatus hernia. and it was over, bit more retching and kind of puking, but not, a loud beltch and i was done. she asked had i had any children, yea 5, ah that would be a large part of it. basically my stomach starts in my chest, its about 3 inches above where it should be. she gave me a hand out that says, dont drink red wine (i dont) dont eat large meals, cut down smoking (i've quit) and caffine (damn but i nneeeeeddd!! it!) and cheese! CHEEESE! no CHEESE!! how will i live without cheese??? i love cheese!! oh and loosing more weight.
was taken back to the ward (only a few doors along from the scopyroom) and whilst all those sedated were sleeping it off, i was up and dressed and ready to go, got letter for my gp (which i forgot to drop off, oh dear what a shame) and sent on my way. paul and kids were there already after going to the park for less than an hour!
still feels like i have something large down my throat, but have eaten and drunk and trying to rehydrate! i woke at 1.30am and had a large glass of water and thought, bollox to it, i need to drink and was told when i got to the unit that i only needed to fast for 6 hours! so that was ok, i'm just very thirsty now.
paul has gone back to work, kids are playing in the garden, the sun is shining and i can take antacids again and drink and eat and everything, i dont have cancer or an ulcer, just a silly herniated stomach. all is ok :o)
amor mundi
went to the hospital for 9am, took me my books, my ipod, a note book. paul and the kids left as i went to be booked in.
i was offered sedation, but in the end went without as i really just wanted to get out of there and sedation would have meant another hour/hour and half at least before i could go. i had the throat spray which was (as all fake banana flavoured things are) absolutly vile! evily vile! the surgen explained what was what and what she was going to do. then a HUGE (approx 5 foot long!) tube was connected to the machine beside me and a nurse talked me through being relaxed and put a thing in to keep my mouth open. this was good as i kept biting on it. the throat spray stuff didnt really do a lot, and i did gag and retch lots, but it was all over within about 4 mins with the lovely nurse telling me how well i was doing, to relax, breathe, calm, the whole time. i could feel it in my mouth, throat, oesophagus, stomach. not plesant, but better than a stomach pump!
on the way out, she spotted the problem, hiatus hernia. and it was over, bit more retching and kind of puking, but not, a loud beltch and i was done. she asked had i had any children, yea 5, ah that would be a large part of it. basically my stomach starts in my chest, its about 3 inches above where it should be. she gave me a hand out that says, dont drink red wine (i dont) dont eat large meals, cut down smoking (i've quit) and caffine (damn but i nneeeeeddd!! it!) and cheese! CHEEESE! no CHEESE!! how will i live without cheese??? i love cheese!! oh and loosing more weight.
was taken back to the ward (only a few doors along from the scopyroom) and whilst all those sedated were sleeping it off, i was up and dressed and ready to go, got letter for my gp (which i forgot to drop off, oh dear what a shame) and sent on my way. paul and kids were there already after going to the park for less than an hour!
still feels like i have something large down my throat, but have eaten and drunk and trying to rehydrate! i woke at 1.30am and had a large glass of water and thought, bollox to it, i need to drink and was told when i got to the unit that i only needed to fast for 6 hours! so that was ok, i'm just very thirsty now.
paul has gone back to work, kids are playing in the garden, the sun is shining and i can take antacids again and drink and eat and everything, i dont have cancer or an ulcer, just a silly herniated stomach. all is ok :o)
amor mundi
Monday 24 March 2008
off to hossy tomorrow
and this time it is for me!
going to have a gastroscopy aka camera down me throat and into my stomach to have a look around and see if they can tell why i keep getting these horrible stomach pains and chest pains that i need to take painkillers to get through. at the moment i dont know where i am sposed to be going, only that i need to be there at 9.15am and i have no babysitter for kids and no letter and the phone lines dont open until 10am!! how fecking stoopid is that????
went to heavy horse centre today and heard that the lovely suffolk punch they had, yvette, died in january :-( she was a sweet heart and fought and fought for life, but it all got a bit much and she gave up before the owners had to make the choice to say enough is enough. in good news, smokey joe is walking and pulling the cart! his manky foot is under control!! yay!! go smokey dude!!
i have decided that i want a wolf, well a czech wolf dog actually, which are >20% wolf, but look like them and are bloody gorg! am researching, asking lots of questions to breeders and trying to locate one for less that £1,500 :-O
on nil by mouth from midnight, so gonna go have some rasberries and icecream now and wash down couple of pints of water and to bed. have had a bit of a chest infection the last few days AGAIN, only the 2nd in the last month! hearing still not back properly as antibiotics are rubbish! havent been able to take any antacids for 2 weeks so have had horrible indigestion whether i eat or not and am all but falling apart!
moan over .....
going to go do more hunting for this fecking letter!!
going to have a gastroscopy aka camera down me throat and into my stomach to have a look around and see if they can tell why i keep getting these horrible stomach pains and chest pains that i need to take painkillers to get through. at the moment i dont know where i am sposed to be going, only that i need to be there at 9.15am and i have no babysitter for kids and no letter and the phone lines dont open until 10am!! how fecking stoopid is that????
went to heavy horse centre today and heard that the lovely suffolk punch they had, yvette, died in january :-( she was a sweet heart and fought and fought for life, but it all got a bit much and she gave up before the owners had to make the choice to say enough is enough. in good news, smokey joe is walking and pulling the cart! his manky foot is under control!! yay!! go smokey dude!!
i have decided that i want a wolf, well a czech wolf dog actually, which are >20% wolf, but look like them and are bloody gorg! am researching, asking lots of questions to breeders and trying to locate one for less that £1,500 :-O
on nil by mouth from midnight, so gonna go have some rasberries and icecream now and wash down couple of pints of water and to bed. have had a bit of a chest infection the last few days AGAIN, only the 2nd in the last month! hearing still not back properly as antibiotics are rubbish! havent been able to take any antacids for 2 weeks so have had horrible indigestion whether i eat or not and am all but falling apart!
moan over .....
going to go do more hunting for this fecking letter!!
Wednesday 19 March 2008
hhmmm meant to do this before!!
havent blogged for over a week, and i keep thinking "must blog about this!" and not doing it!! arrgghhh need more hours in the day!
today we went to the hospital AGAIN to see the consultant for a follow up on beaus choking episode, all ok and it just seems to be the way she is, having an abnormally high palate, like me! see, i knew i could get it to be my fault! lol long and short is, she is ok, total return to normal self and we have to be aware of the potential for it happening again. which we are. she is refered to the maxillofacial specialist, mr marcus and the speech therapy dept, even tho she is one of the most fluent and prolific talkers for a not quite 3 year old!
am off to stonehenge travelodge tonight for trip to henge for dawn, tomorrow being oestara aka spring equinox. meeting up with dan and eli and thier boys, heres hoping for a clear morning! dawn is a stoopid oclock aka 6.11!! ffs! couldnt they have started summer daylight saving last weekend?? lol
gotta be back for 11am, tis only hour and half away, as have my cross trainer arriving and i wanna get to build it! need to work off this nearly stone i've put on since giving up smoking again :o( and am far too fat to be seen at the gym in a tracky or the like! there is laws against it i'm sure, if there arent THERE SHOULD BE!!
kids last day at school tomorrow before the unbelievably early easter break. i have bought the kids daffs to give their teachers, river has point blank refused, dunno what his problem is, maybe he thinks mr hatchard wouldnt like them *scratches head*. got chase a few bit from lush and a bottle of clary sage and new flannel to give to her heavily preggy teacher who is off on maternity leave tomorrow, she has been so lovely and helped chase a lot since they started in december, wanted to get her something special and nice :o)
hopefully will blog again tomorrow with pix of henge on a beautiful spring morning!!
amor mundi
today we went to the hospital AGAIN to see the consultant for a follow up on beaus choking episode, all ok and it just seems to be the way she is, having an abnormally high palate, like me! see, i knew i could get it to be my fault! lol long and short is, she is ok, total return to normal self and we have to be aware of the potential for it happening again. which we are. she is refered to the maxillofacial specialist, mr marcus and the speech therapy dept, even tho she is one of the most fluent and prolific talkers for a not quite 3 year old!
am off to stonehenge travelodge tonight for trip to henge for dawn, tomorrow being oestara aka spring equinox. meeting up with dan and eli and thier boys, heres hoping for a clear morning! dawn is a stoopid oclock aka 6.11!! ffs! couldnt they have started summer daylight saving last weekend?? lol
gotta be back for 11am, tis only hour and half away, as have my cross trainer arriving and i wanna get to build it! need to work off this nearly stone i've put on since giving up smoking again :o( and am far too fat to be seen at the gym in a tracky or the like! there is laws against it i'm sure, if there arent THERE SHOULD BE!!
kids last day at school tomorrow before the unbelievably early easter break. i have bought the kids daffs to give their teachers, river has point blank refused, dunno what his problem is, maybe he thinks mr hatchard wouldnt like them *scratches head*. got chase a few bit from lush and a bottle of clary sage and new flannel to give to her heavily preggy teacher who is off on maternity leave tomorrow, she has been so lovely and helped chase a lot since they started in december, wanted to get her something special and nice :o)
hopefully will blog again tomorrow with pix of henge on a beautiful spring morning!!
amor mundi
Monday 10 March 2008
coz willow made me!!
1. Go to www.photobucket.com (don't sign in)
2. Type in your answer to the question in the search box.
3. Use only the first page to look for the appropriate answer.
4. Copy the HTML and paste under the question for the answer.
1. What's your name?
2. Relationship status?
3. Favourite colour?
4. What are you listening to right now?
5. Favourite movie?
6. Where is your dream vacation?
(yes i want to go back!)
7. What's your favourite dessert?
8. One word to describe yourself...
9. Your eye colour is...
10. The last book you read...
11. Night or day?
12. Oranges or apples?
13. Chocolate or vanilla?
2. Type in your answer to the question in the search box.
3. Use only the first page to look for the appropriate answer.
4. Copy the HTML and paste under the question for the answer.
1. What's your name?
2. Relationship status?
3. Favourite colour?
4. What are you listening to right now?
5. Favourite movie?
6. Where is your dream vacation?
(yes i want to go back!)
7. What's your favourite dessert?
8. One word to describe yourself...
9. Your eye colour is...
10. The last book you read...
11. Night or day?
12. Oranges or apples?
13. Chocolate or vanilla?
Thursday 6 March 2008
poetry
following on from yesterday, i had planned to put up willows pappys fav poem, but poetry file is hiding from me and i cant be arsed to search the house for it!!
beau has to go for some tests to make sure her throat has returned to norman and to see if norman is not what her throat should be, there was lots of swelling and it was an odd shape when they xrayed after the choking incident. she is looking forward to going, i know she is going to kick off and not drink the stuff or stay still for the xray and it is going to be oh so much fun!
i have my parcels packed up and ready to go, just gotta send em off, so that is on the cards too, as well as opening bank account for the window cleaning round.
its all go here!
spent the day with stephen the human sex god yesterday. he phoned me saying he had turned his phone on early yesterday incase i called, i have given up calling in the morning as either his phone is off or he doesnt answer or he does answer and was sleeping so tells me politely to feck off.
anyways, we went out for lunch to sainsbos, drank coffee and ate expensive sandwiches and he chatted away to beau who was playing shy. t'was really good fun, then popped down to see rob, his 6foot 5 friend who was a total star for me when i lost the plot in june. beau thinks he is god and was hoping to raid his fridge, the cheeky mare! his ginger cat, jasper (who looks like my morpheus) was about and being all cute and cuddly (not like him at all!) then climbed on the roof and started doing his "i'm a ginger cat and i'm just plan odd" bit, just to stay in character.
went and got kids from school and then a very strange thing happened, steve showed them how to make and fly the best paper planes, edz totally got it and made around 50 of the bloody things! then from planes they moved onto birds and then frogs and in the end, we had a whole frog chorus and enough birds to keep the pidgeons out the garden! lol he only drank 3 bottles of beer (after the 2 can of kestral) and didnt swear either!
if you dont know steve his is a raving alcoholic, that swears and smokes and cant stand being around the kids too long. yesterday, he was in his element and so were they! and also got me to order some books from ebay about origami so he can do more with them.
so he does have his uses, no matter what anyone says!
when i took him home, we were chatting about a certain person that we both know and someone that they like, turns out the liked person is my bessy mate niccis boyfriends sister, and also stephens brothers bessy mate. sycronisity again! so i popped over nic's on the way home and freaked her out demanding to know why she was out with steves brother when i was in manchester! rofl she thought i was having a go at her, bless her. as if i could, my lovely lil naughty nitty ;o) so to come full circle, that is all a kind of poetry in itself, the whole continuation with rhythm and rhyme, my life is at about 3 degrees of seperation at the moment!!
small world keeps getting smaller.
beau has to go for some tests to make sure her throat has returned to norman and to see if norman is not what her throat should be, there was lots of swelling and it was an odd shape when they xrayed after the choking incident. she is looking forward to going, i know she is going to kick off and not drink the stuff or stay still for the xray and it is going to be oh so much fun!
i have my parcels packed up and ready to go, just gotta send em off, so that is on the cards too, as well as opening bank account for the window cleaning round.
its all go here!
spent the day with stephen the human sex god yesterday. he phoned me saying he had turned his phone on early yesterday incase i called, i have given up calling in the morning as either his phone is off or he doesnt answer or he does answer and was sleeping so tells me politely to feck off.
anyways, we went out for lunch to sainsbos, drank coffee and ate expensive sandwiches and he chatted away to beau who was playing shy. t'was really good fun, then popped down to see rob, his 6foot 5 friend who was a total star for me when i lost the plot in june. beau thinks he is god and was hoping to raid his fridge, the cheeky mare! his ginger cat, jasper (who looks like my morpheus) was about and being all cute and cuddly (not like him at all!) then climbed on the roof and started doing his "i'm a ginger cat and i'm just plan odd" bit, just to stay in character.
went and got kids from school and then a very strange thing happened, steve showed them how to make and fly the best paper planes, edz totally got it and made around 50 of the bloody things! then from planes they moved onto birds and then frogs and in the end, we had a whole frog chorus and enough birds to keep the pidgeons out the garden! lol he only drank 3 bottles of beer (after the 2 can of kestral) and didnt swear either!
if you dont know steve his is a raving alcoholic, that swears and smokes and cant stand being around the kids too long. yesterday, he was in his element and so were they! and also got me to order some books from ebay about origami so he can do more with them.
so he does have his uses, no matter what anyone says!
when i took him home, we were chatting about a certain person that we both know and someone that they like, turns out the liked person is my bessy mate niccis boyfriends sister, and also stephens brothers bessy mate. sycronisity again! so i popped over nic's on the way home and freaked her out demanding to know why she was out with steves brother when i was in manchester! rofl she thought i was having a go at her, bless her. as if i could, my lovely lil naughty nitty ;o) so to come full circle, that is all a kind of poetry in itself, the whole continuation with rhythm and rhyme, my life is at about 3 degrees of seperation at the moment!!
small world keeps getting smaller.
Tuesday 4 March 2008
still deaf
and in pain :( taken 6 antibiotics so far and still have this loud buzzingy/hissy kinda noise in my right ear. nic phoned earlier and i couldnt hear a bloody thing through my right ear. this is not fun. i was actually worried about laying down to sleep as sunday night i had to sleep sitting up and all my naps (of which there were several) were all sitting up because laying down the pressure increased in my head and my ear started hot shooting pains down my neck and into my head. i dont like this.
roast chicken dinner tonight and paul is just stripping the bones to go into the slow cooker for making stock over night. i love free meals!! bit bored of risotta now, gotta find something else to make with it. thinking maybe spanish garlic chicken, i can stick that in the slow cooker tomorrow and bugger off out for the day if the weather holds. did a load of cleaning today, if i get my arse into gear earlier enough, i will get the bathrooms done and food in slowy and out before lunch.
i also have a mountain of orders to fill! but no time. i remember when i am on school run, or up to eyeballs in washing or similar. need more hours in the day, yes yes, i could be doing it now, only i cant get into the garage as there has just been a load of stuff dumped there which will be moved tomorrow, so maybe then ....... maybe!
been thinking about stuff today, when i drove to the school this morning i noticed the trees at the darbys corner roundabout were starting to bloom. last year the whole roundabout was covered in blossom when such a dear dear friend was sent starside. he was the sweetest man and i always wished he could have been my dad. he had more time and endless patiences and always a kind word or something encouraging to say. i took my poetry over to him one day, read him some of it. he told me how good he thought it was, what his favourate was and that i should read it to my dad. i tried, but my dad wasnt interested. it was because of this man that i went to malaysia. his passing broke a huge chunk off my heart, my paul thought that having the trip to look forward to would help me heal and it did. yes, willowc, your pappy.
although i lost so much more last year, this was just the tip of the iceburg. the blossom on that roundabout will forever mean the anniversary of his depature. its still a couple of week until his birthday, but i shall toast him with a large whiskey when it turns.
got a new phone too, far too hard for my girl brain to work out tho ...... must get new tiknulijee chip installed me thinks.
roast chicken dinner tonight and paul is just stripping the bones to go into the slow cooker for making stock over night. i love free meals!! bit bored of risotta now, gotta find something else to make with it. thinking maybe spanish garlic chicken, i can stick that in the slow cooker tomorrow and bugger off out for the day if the weather holds. did a load of cleaning today, if i get my arse into gear earlier enough, i will get the bathrooms done and food in slowy and out before lunch.
i also have a mountain of orders to fill! but no time. i remember when i am on school run, or up to eyeballs in washing or similar. need more hours in the day, yes yes, i could be doing it now, only i cant get into the garage as there has just been a load of stuff dumped there which will be moved tomorrow, so maybe then ....... maybe!
been thinking about stuff today, when i drove to the school this morning i noticed the trees at the darbys corner roundabout were starting to bloom. last year the whole roundabout was covered in blossom when such a dear dear friend was sent starside. he was the sweetest man and i always wished he could have been my dad. he had more time and endless patiences and always a kind word or something encouraging to say. i took my poetry over to him one day, read him some of it. he told me how good he thought it was, what his favourate was and that i should read it to my dad. i tried, but my dad wasnt interested. it was because of this man that i went to malaysia. his passing broke a huge chunk off my heart, my paul thought that having the trip to look forward to would help me heal and it did. yes, willowc, your pappy.
although i lost so much more last year, this was just the tip of the iceburg. the blossom on that roundabout will forever mean the anniversary of his depature. its still a couple of week until his birthday, but i shall toast him with a large whiskey when it turns.
got a new phone too, far too hard for my girl brain to work out tho ...... must get new tiknulijee chip installed me thinks.
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